


On the Edge

by Preathea



Category: Original Work
Genre: Apocalypse, Demons, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Preathea/pseuds/Preathea
Summary: Our world is invaded.   We just want to live.“It’s simple, Tristan,” She says slowly.  “You do not think life is worth living any longer.  I will make it worth living, and in return, I get to stay here.  So long as you live, I live and fulfill all your desires.  That’s all.”





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I have no beta, but I do edit myself. This story is completed in its entirety, and I will be posting the next chapter next week (and so on). I welcome criticism.
> 
> Overall, I hope you enjoy. It took me a full year to convince myself to post anything on AO3, so I'm really nervous about how this will be received.

I step up to the railing of the bridge and look down, adjusting the glasses on my face so they don’t fall. There were twenty-five steps leading up to the bridge. I had counted them yesterday. It had taken me nearly 15000 steps to walk the seven miles from my house. I still wasn’t entirely sure about this. The signs said it was about a fifteen feet drop from here to the water depending on the rainfall in the last month. The river ran at five miles per hour, parallel to town for only half a mile before veering away. I will likely survive the fall, but the force of impact will not allow me to hold my breath, meaning that I will begin inhaling water nearly immediately. Without assistance, I will probably fall unconscious in less than three minutes, with death coming soon after. My body will struggle. I know that. Natural survival instincts will kick in, but this really is for the best. Those three minutes are the biggest worry though. I’d read accounts of almost drownings to prepare myself for this, but I shouldn’t have. There really is no mental preparation that you can do when you’re facing the agonizing suffering that comes with not being able to breath. I take a few deep breaths before stepping over the railing and clinging to it as I turn around. Closing my eyes in preparation of the fall, I take my last few gulps of air and let go.

But the fall doesn’t come. I wait for a few moments before opening my eyes. I see nothing but the usual landscape in front of me. I bring my hands forward, and immediately notice two things: One, I had let go of the railing, there is no doubting that, and two, it feels like a strong wind is swirling around me, pinning me into place, and making my limbs work very slowly. I turn as quickly as I can to face the bridge and a woman with flowing black hair and striking blue eyes is standing there, staring at me with a small smile on her face. Neither of us says anything for a few moments. In conjunction with the air spiraling for me, I can hardly draw any breaths; something about just makes is impossible. I feel myself becoming lightheaded and struggle to concentrate when she starts speaking. 

“Now, why would you waste your life here when there are so many ways to get what you really want, Tristan?” She asks, tilting her head slightly. I don’t answer, afraid of what may happen if I do, and I feel a shudder run through my body. “Come now, you were about to die. What could you possibly be afraid of now?” She has a point, but it doesn’t stifle the fear welling inside of me. “Now, I have a proposition for you,” she pauses, “But I need to save your life to give it. Give me a hair on your head and we can talk.” I shrug. I don’t need my hair if I’m dying, why shouldn’t I let her have it? Her smile widens into a grin and she snaps her fingers. I feel myself pulled up and over the railing, and the wind holding me in place is finally released. I fall to my knees on the pavement covering the bridge and began gasping for air.

“Good, we should find a better place to talk now,” she says, tucking the hair into a pocket. She turns from me and leads me back down the bridge to a small building at the edge of the river. It looks abandoned, but she seems satisfied as she nods her head and says, “This will do.” She snaps her fingers again and the building looks new. I blink wondering if I was dreaming as I died. Regardless, I follow her inside to a plush looking room, covered in blue and black decorations. She sits me down on some pillows on the floor, lounging across from me. In between us is a short table, dark wood that didn’t look entirely from our world. “Refreshments?” She asks, but before I answer, she snaps and a tea set and small tea cakes appear between us. She immediately begins to pour two cups and places a tea cake on each plate. She pushes a set towards me and begins sipping at her tea. “The flavors in your realm are to die for. I will never understand how you humans can so easily give this up.” I still can’t bring myself to respond to her, so I hesitantly grab my cup and saucer and take a sip of the tea. It seems to be just regular ginger tea, perhaps with a fruity splash behind it, but there doesn’t seem to be anything special to it. And it doesn’t settle my nerves. 

She sees my face and laughs. “You understand nothing, Tristan. I know that. I’ll explain in a moment. Let us enjoy this time while it lasts.” I nod and continue to sip at the tea. I manage to finish half the cup and have a few bites of the tea cake before she starts to explain herself. “I come at the call of the lonely. Those who feel that they have nothing to contribute to the world, that feel that they deserve to be alone, but don’t want to be. They call me to your realm and I come to offer them a chance to change their destiny. Would you like a chance to be something, Tristan? Because that is what I offer.” I frown. She isn’t wrong about me, but if saving my life at a time when I was planning to die cost a mere hair, what would changing destiny cost? She smiles at me and nods. “You’re right, of course. There is a price. The price is a connection between us. You get what you desire, and I remain in this world so long as you do. It’s not so bad. We don’t have to be near each other, and I’m not here permanently or anything. Your life and mine become intrinsically connected.” 

“I’m sorry,” I say, setting down the now cold tea. “I don’t really understand.” 

She sighs, appearing a bit frustrated. “It’s simple, Tristan,” She says slowly. “You do not think life is worth living any longer. I will make it worth living, and in return, I get to stay here. So long as you live, I live and fulfill all your desires. That’s all.” 

“How will you know what I want?” I ask, clasping my hands so tightly that my finger tips begin to turn white. 

“I am well acquainted with you and everything you wish for. You have been calling me for a long time. Today was the first time the call was strong enough for me to follow.” Probably because of his suicide. “Exactly,” she answers again without me speaking aloud and I frown, about to ask the question that has been on the edge of my mind for awhile now. “Yes, I can read your thoughts, Tristan. But only yours because you have been calling me.” That answers my question then. I move my legs out from under me and stretch them forward. Do I want to make a deal with a devil? Or a demon, whichever she happened to be. It doesn’t seem prudent. Better to let the world tick on without either of us. 

“Before you say no, Tristan. Think about a life where you were the center of a group. Where everyone valued you and your decisions. You needn’t be a leader, if you don’t want to, but everyone would trust you nonetheless. You would be wanted, loved, everything you’ve ever felt you lacked. I could orchestrate all of this.” It sounds like a dream. People who would respect me and value me. Friends who love me, friends who are like family. Maybe someone who falls in love with me. I had never had that. My parents loved me, but they weren’t exactly around much. Friends were the foundation of the lives I envied. Would I be happy if I had them? And could Kirabo actually give them to me? Or will they be other demons? I don’t want that. “They would be human. Fragile and lost in many ways, but able to support you and love you. I could give this to you, Tristan. If only you gave life one more chance. Doesn’t your mother always tell you to keep trying until you succeed? You will succeed this time, I guarantee it.” 

I’m still not convinced. How can I justify unleashing a powerful being that is lured by negative emotions on the world? She frowns when I think this. “Have I given you a reason to believe that I would create chaos? And I am offering something to heal your emotions. How am I evil, Tristan?” 

“You haven’t denied that you are a demon,” I answer simply, staring at her unblinkingly. “You can read my thoughts, and you have not addressed that one.” 

She scowls and waves a hand. Her human appearance melts away replaced by a horned figure with literal black skin, ice blue eyes, and clawed fingers. I scramble away, not expecting her to comply so easily. When she - it - speaks, the voice is no longer human-like either, having changed with it’s appearance. “This is the true body of Kirabo, the demon of loneliness. I feed off of that loneliness, it’s true. But the greatest meals come when I heal those wounds.” 

It snaps, and the woman appears before me again, smiling. “I take no joy in scaring my contractors, but neither am I able to lie. I am a demon, but I do help people. Tristan. Allow me a few decades in this world of yours. I will make your life incredible.” 

I’m still not sure about this, but suddenly it feels too good to resist. If she has placed a spell on me, I don’t know, but I come forward, holding out a hand. I hesitate. “You won’t hurt anyone, will you?” I ask. I don’t know how I would reconcile being responsible for someone else’s death. It’s nothing I’ve ever had to consider before. 

“I will not harm a hair on any human’s head,” she says, offering her hand. I take a deep breath and grasp it. A swirl of blue light surrounds our clasped hands, too bright for me to look at for more than a few seconds. I throw my left hand in front of my eyes and close them tightly. A few moments later, the light dissipates, and I hear her say, “The deal is done. Return home, and I will begin working on your reward. Thank you, Tristan.” When I finally open my eyes, the demon - and the house she created - is gone. 

The next few days, I feel like I am walking on eggshells waiting for something - anything - to happen. Nothing seems to have changed, and no one seems to have noticed my newfound jumpiness. Except for the boy that I accidentally slammed into when I backed away from the shadow of a squirrel running through the trees that hung over the path to school. He noticed, and, despite his annoyance, seemed concerned. “Are you okay?” He asks. I nod, not able to speak through my embarrassment. He frowns. “Well, be more careful in the future.” I nod again and stumble away from him, face burning. I’m more careful after that. 

Everything makes me a little tense, every shadow, every breeze, every animal that flits through the empty fields. I wonder what she, Kirabo, is doing at the moment. I wonder if she’s forgotten our deal since nothing has changed. My parents still work long hours, I still have no friends at school, and most of the time, I am all alone. When I’m doing homework, when I’m eating, when I’m watching television or reading, I’m all alone. It’s the same as always, and I wonder why I let myself be talked into coming back to it. 

A week after the meeting with Kirabo, I happen to watch the news. They call it an “unidentified natural disaster.” An entire town had been destroyed. Not really destroyed. The buildings and structures still stood, but there were no people left in the town, and no signs of them other than half drunk coffee cups and abandoned cars. No one was left. I shuddered, and my mind instantly went to Kirabo. There are no signs that anyone was hurt, but if this was her doing, I don’t know if I want to know. 

It is worse the next week. This town had a few survivors who described the creatures as demons and said that they ripped their families to shreds, blood was everywhere. But when the news stations went to show the gruesomely interested public, there was no blood. It was the same as the first town. It spreads from there, first one a week, but after a few months, it soon becomes every other day, then every day. No one seems to be able to stop them. They target small towns first, and then small cities, before moving onto the more populated places. Finally, occasional stories about people fighting back and winning against them began to trickle in. Weapons are effective. Tall walls deter them, but reinforced walls keep them out. Army bases become shelters. Old forts begin to be reconstructed and refortified. 

Three months in, my parents pull their savings from the bank, and we leave town before they arrived. We each only fill a single suitcase, so as to not weigh down the car too much. I bring some clothes and books. Just three, as my parents had looked at me reproachingly when I tried to take more. I also bring my laptop and ipod. That is it. Then we have boxes and boxes of food that would last. We head to the closest shelter to our town. It is still three days away. 

The hours trickle by, and I try not to worry my parents, but my mouth tends to run away with me when I’m nervous around people I know, so I end up talking a lot about the demons. “The news says that they are nearly indestructible. Knives, bats, any weapon of that sort is just going to get you killed. Bullets seem to be able to penetrate their skin, but it’s only automatic weapons that can really stop them, since they fire so quickly. They say they move faster than cars. Some people say that they can teleport, but that’s still unconfirmed. Others say that they aren’t capable of running as fast as the top speed of a vehicle, just the average speed limits. There was also talk of them being invisible in some cases, but I think that’s just people not seeing them in the dark, because their skin is so black.”

Finally, my mother glances back at me and says, “Tristan. We understand. Please stop talking about them.” I immediately shut my mouth and shift my gaze to my lap where my hands rest. I fidget for the rest of the day, and end up falling asleep somewhere around the sixth hour of driving. 

When I wake up, it’s dark. My mom is driving, and my dad is napping. My mom hears me stir and smiles at me through the rear view mirror. “Are you doing alright back there?” she asks, “You missed the last rest stop. We didn’t want to wake you, but let me know if you need to stretch, alright?” I nod and manage to return the smile before looking out the window. The road we’re on has very little lighting. Mom has the brights on, but I wonder if she would be able to see and brake fast enough if one of the demons was in the road. 

I begin to drift off again while watching the landscape zip by out the window. I don’t know how long we’ve been on the road anymore when my mother slams on the brakes and I’m jerked forward. I look out in front of us and see it. It’s just as black as Kirabo, but it’s eyes glow red, and the horns atop it’s head are smaller. It’s only about the size of an average human where Kirabo towered over me like I was a toddler. All in all, it’s less impressive, but still terrifying. My mother turns the car around as quickly as she can, but seeing more coming from behind us, she plows into the fields to get away from them. I glance behind us. There are only two following us, and they seem to be staying a specific distance away. My mom doesn’t notice this, and I have no time to contemplate what this means when the car suddenly slams into an invisible force and the front end is crunched in. My dad is awake and cursing now. Out of the glove box, he pulls two guns. Stepping out of the car, he wrenches open the back door, and pulls me out. Thrusting a gun into my hand, he says “Run, find somewhere safe. If you get caught, shoot them.” 

I nod and scramble around him, running past the car. I expect my mom to come with me, but when I glance back, I see she’s with dad. They’re both firing desperately at the demons. I stop and turn back. The demons don’t stop. My mom looks back at me. “Go!” she shouts, and I go, tears clouding my eyes. 

There’s nowhere to run though. No buildings in sight, not anything that would provide shelter from the demons. I wipe angrily at the tears and stop running again. What’s the point of running? Why didn’t I just stay with my parents? At least we’d all be together. Then I hear screams. My mom’s, and they’re angry. They must have gotten dad first. My tears are flowing more heavily now, and I can’t move my legs. The screams turn from anger to agony and then they stop, and I still can’t move. In the sudden silence, my heartbeat and gasps for breath are deafening. Then I hear footsteps. Is it them? But I can’t quiet myself, and I couldn’t hide from them anyway. I look in the direction. Not demons, a girl, with bright blue hair that was fading. It probably wasn’t very good for staying hidden. “This way,” she says and grabs my hand. She pulls me along quickly to a hatch on the ground. I stumble down the stairs. The girl stops to secure the hatch, and then ushers me down the rest of the steps. There is no light, and it is darker in this cellar than it was in the field. When my eyes finally adjust to the darkness, I look around. 

There are four other people in the room with me. In the dark, it’s hard to tell what any of them look like, but none of us dare to make noise. The biggest figure steps forward and wraps a hand around my mouth, stifling my heavy breathing. “Sorry,” he mutters in my ear. He doesn’t say anything more, and he doesn’t let go of my until we hear foot falls above us. Everything seems to still and we all hold our breath. The footsteps leave, but we stay silent for hours. Then, I’m released and the boy steps back. 

The girl who guided me to the room grabs me again and guides me to a blanket and a pillow. “Let’s all get some sleep. We’ll explain things in the morning. I’m Shirin.” 

“Tristan,” I respond, sitting in front of the pillow. As she walks away, I call out after her. “Thanks… for helping me.” She smiles, but says nothing else. 

It takes me hours to fall asleep.


	2. Shirin

We’d been together for months, and Tristan had integrated himself into our group without effort. It’s funny when I think about it; he wasn’t really the type of person that attracted attention, but everyone: Val, Kane, Emir and myself - we all felt an undeniable pull towards him as soon as he stumbled into the field above the cellar. Since then, we’d all be taking care of him in our own way. He seemed most pulled to Emir, and, if I was to be honest, it made me a little jealous. Not because I wanted to get between them or anything. No, Tristan’s not my type. I just didn’t have that closeness with anyone, hadn’t ever had what they were developing. 

I looked up from the pot that I was stirring to where the boys sat now, huddled close together and talking in hushed voices. Brown and red hair mingled, and Tristan reached up often to push his glasses back onto his face. I smiled despite my envy and directed my attention back to the food, giving them as much privacy as I could. 

I was just heating up leftover stew. It wouldn’t do to be wasteful at this point. We had worked our way through the food in the cellar in the past few months and were now living off of what we had salvaged from Tristan’s parents’ car. Scouting and scrounging for food, we did in pairs, and we had recovered the guns from where they lay next to the car, as well as the bullets that we found inside it. We needed to be able to protect ourselves somehow. But the real problem was that we were running out of food. 

In the four months that we had been together, our group had built a shaky sort of balance. There were still spats, of course, such as when Kane suggested that Val was not as good at hunting as he was, without malice of course, but Val felt that she had to prove herself at every turn with him. Kane had a lot of opinions about how the group should function, most of which involved him being in charge and all of us being treated like cadets of some sort. None of us liked the idea, and the only one who went along with it on a daily basis was Tristan. 

“Tristan,” the name was called quietly, but with authority, and we all looked up at Kane who stood at the bottom of the stairs, his sheer muscle blocking out any light that the open door let in, “Come with me. We’re going to train.” Tristan cast Emir an apologetic look over his glasses and followed the older boy out of the cellar. 

I rolled my eyes, but called after them. “Be careful. If you run into any demons, book it back here, do you understand? Kane, if anything happens to him, I’m holding you personally responsible.” 

“I understand,” he responded, always the serious one. 

Tristan gave me a weak smile, and I reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly before pulling him into a hug. “You don’t have to humor him,” I whispered into his ear. “You can stay.” 

Tristan pushed away from me and shook his head. “I want to be helpful, and learning to defend myself is the best way to start, isn’t it?” I didn’t say anything and let them go without any more interruptions. I walked back to the stew and sighed. They would be late for dinner again, but it wasn’t like we weren’t getting used to it. 

“Shirin.” I turned to Val and gave her a small smile. “Do you want to play cards with Emer and I?” There wasn’t much else to do to pass time anymore. All of us had read our fill of Tristan’s books and his laptop had long since died, so we spent a lot of times playing all kinds of card games. Poker of all styles, Euchre, Double Solitaire, War, Bullshit, even Old Maid had made it onto our list. 

“Sure,” I responded, “Let me turn the heat lower.” Tristan’s parents had packed a portable stove, and the cellar had one working outlet. Thank god the electric company in the area was still in business and hadn’t turned electricity off in this place. We probably wouldn’t be able to bring it with us when we moved on, but the luxury was heaven sent at the time. I turned the dial down to low and, after wiping my hands on the one towel we had designated for the kitchen, I walked over to Val and Emir who sat around at box, sitting on the pillows that we had scattered around the room. We had managed to scrounge up two for each of us in the end, and had designated five for sleeping and five for sitting. After all, we had nothing else to use in lieu of chairs. 

That day, we were playing s couple rounds of Euchre, cutthroat since there were only three of us. The game was mindless enough that we could hold a conversation as we played. Emir sighed after a few hands and looked up at the cellar door with a scowl. “I can’t believe Kane keeps hoarding Tristan,” he grumbled under his breath. I held back a laugh, turning to him with an amused smile. 

“Oh, Kane keeps hoarding Tristan, does he?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. Emir turned to me with a defiant look on his face, but the blush spreading on his cheeks gave him away. 

“Yeah, Em, can’t you share?” Val interjected, a little less subtly than my own statement. 

“I told you, don’t call me that. And I don’t know what you’re referring to. We just talk.” He was defensive and it was cute, but I felt that stab of unnatural jealousy again. 

“You talk a lot. What do you even still have to talk about anyway?” Val asked, throwing down a card and taking the trick. 

“Everything,” Emir said, his voice light, almost dreamy. “Tristan is always listening, so it’s easy to just talk about anything.” 

“Are you sure he’s not just humoring you, Emir? You’re obsession with theorizing about the scientific reasons for the demons or ‘the ramifications of their existence’ bores the average listener.”

“Well, if he’s humoring me, then he’s certainly humoring you when you talk to him about everything that you miss. Clothes and make-up,” Emir wrinkled his nose in distaste, “He has no interest in those things.” 

Val flushed in anger and threw down her cards in front of her and stood up, shaking. I sighed. Val and Emir had trouble getting along, especially when Tristan wasn’t around. “God, you are so annoying. Why are you here anyway? What do you bring to the group? At least I can help out there without freezing in front of the demons.” 

“At least I don’t rely solely on my body for my merit,” Emir snapped back

“What fucking good are all your memorized facts now? The table of Elements or the factors of three aren’t going to help you now that we’re all stuck in the middle of shitfuck nowhere. I contribute with my experiences. When are you going to start?” I figured now was a good time to interfere before either of them started to throw punches. 

“Alright, calm down, both of you,” I said, gathering the cards and putting them back into the quickly deteriorating pack. “I think we should all eat something, and maybe not talk.” I shoved the cards at Emir who kept the place as organized as it could be with five teens living in it. Then I walked back to the pot, stirred the leftover stew gently before filling three chipped ceramic bowls. Val and Emir each claimed their own and sat on opposite sides of the cellar, glaring at each other as they ate. 

Kane and Tristan returned before we finished, and I paused in the midst of taking a bite to smile at them. I gulped down the scoop and got up to fill the last two bowls handing one to each of them before returning to my own food. Tristan glanced between Val and Emir, looking as if he was going to be sick. “Don’t worry about them,” I said before he could worry himself overmuch. “You know how they are. They fight, and then they’ll get over it.” 

“Okay,” he whispered before turning to his own food and devouring it. I frowned. I’d thought this before, but Tristan ate far too quickly for his own good. 

“Slow down,” I chided. “We don’t need you choking.” He blushed, but obeyed the command. I collected the empty bowls once everyone was done and asked Emir to join me outside to get the water to wash them. We had no running water in the cellar, but there was a barn with a pond about a half a mile away, so we usually gathered water from there twice a day. Once after breakfast and once after dinner. We always boiled it, no matter what we were going to use it for; we’d all watched enough Survivor to know that much at least. 

As we walked, I let Emir seethe for a bit before speaking. “I think you should apologize to Val,” I said quietly.

“Me?” He asked, ready to be enraged and I rolled my eyes again. 

“Yes, because you know she’s right. Not about you being useless, of course not. But about you monopolizing Tristan.” 

He was silent for a moment before sighing. “I don’t mean to. I just get carried away,” he finally admitted begrudgingly. 

“I know,” I said softly, putting a hand on his back and rubbing gently. “And Val knows too. She just sometimes feels like an outsider.” Emir sighed again before nodding. We didn’t say anything more as we filled the three buckets and two bottles that we had managed to gather with water and returned, albeit a bit slower on the return trek. The sun was setting as we came back to the cellar and Val stood outside, waiting for us. She saw us and took a bucket from each of us, letting me open the door. 

“We were getting worried,” she said as we descended the stairs. 

“Sorry,” Emir’s response was quiet and thoughtful. At the bottom of the stairs, he stopped and said, “Val, sorry.” 

Val stopped and looked back at him. A moment passed before she responded, “Me too.” I smiled and resumed my walk to our makeshift kitchen. We poured all the water into the pot and set it up to boil. Everything was back to normal now. Well as normal as we could get in this situation. 

I sat next to Tristan, and hummed in worry at his appearance. He was covered in mud, and it looked like he had a few cuts “Did Kane work you hard today?” I was concerned that Kane was trying to make Tristan do more than he could handle. After all, Kane was naturally on the muscular side whereas Tristan was more of a scrawny, keep to himself kind of kid. He couldn’t handle the same amount of physical exertion that Kane or Val could. Though he could do more than Emir. 

“No,” Tristan responded quickly, meeting my eyes and giving me a weak smile. “We just ran into some trouble while we were out there.” 

I frowned. “What kind of trouble?” I asked in a low voice. Would we need to be leaving? There had been talk on the radio in recent days of violent crimes having increased because of the lack of organization in getting people to safety. If those were getting closer to us, we needed to be way more careful. 

“Nothing too serious. Some looters thought we were after the same stuff as them, and they roughed me up a bit before Kane came back.” 

My eyes narrowed. Kane shouldn’t have left him alone in the first place. I was about to say this aloud when Kane groaned from a little ways behind me. “Can’t a guy even take a piss while outside without having you come down on us?” I glared at him, but rolled my eyes and relaxed anyway. 

“Regardless of who they were, we should be more careful in the future. All of us. And maybe… we should think about moving on.” I had suggested it before, and, as every time before, everyone fell silent. They - we - had become comfortable here. No one wanted to even think about leaving, and yet… we had to. We couldn’t stay in this place much longer. None of us knew how to hunt, and we were running out of the food that had been packed down here and in Tristan’s car. We had no clue as to what wild plants were edible or would even do us any good. We had to find other people who would be willing to help us. That was what it came down to. 

“Maybe rather than just thinking about moving on, we should think about doing something to end this mess,” Val said quietly. I looked around the room and saw Kane nodding, but Emir looking uneasy at the prospect. 

“What can we really do though?” Emir asked, quietly, wrapping his arms around his body. “We’re just five teenagers.” 

“Yeah, but Kane has made some progress in fighting those demons. He can teach Tristan and I. Shirin and you are both fairly knowledgeable about first aid and all that shit. Shirin can also cook and make sure we have a place to come back to after hunting them. And you - you’re good at reading people. It’s possible that you’d be able to read the demon’s body language too and give us on the spot advice as we’re fighting. If we can work together, we should be able to do this.” 

“So we become an adventuring team?” Emir asked wryly, “Except without magic?” 

Val rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. “Yeah, like one of your games. Don’t you find that enticing?” 

“Not really,” Emir answered quickly. “DnD is one thing. It’s imaginary, no matter how much damage my character takes, I’m not getting hurt. We’re talking about reality. It will hurt. Someone could very well die if we don’t take this seriously.” 

“And that will be your job, Emir, to make sure no one dies. Don’t you think you can handle it?” Kane interjected this time. 

“For what it’s worth, I agree with Emir,” I said, standing up. “It’s too dangerous. Just because Kane has been able to beat them back long enough for whoever is with him to get away and then make it back alive himself, doesn’t mean that we can kill them. It just means that we’ve found a way to survive. Survival and fighting back are different. And I don’t know if the risk is worth whatever reward we’d get.” 

“It’s not about the reward though, Shi,” Kane said softly, stepping closer to me. “It’s about helping other people and stopping anyone else from dying.” 

Silence fell over us. Everyone was thinking over the words that had been exchanged. Kane was right of course, but we could only help people while we were alive. If we were going to do this, we had to make absolutely certain that we actually could before we took any unnecessary risks. I was still okay with walking away. Just walking away and finding our way to a shelter. None of us had found the people that we were looking for, but it would be better to stay alive wouldn’t it? 

“Let’s do it.” Tristan finally spoke his piece, and none of us expected him to agree to fight. He just wasn’t the fighting type. “I think it’s worth the risk, Shi, Emir. I don’t think we should just keep letting others die.” 

Emir and I exchanged frowns. He was, after all, the one we were the most worried about when we’d voiced our concerns. “Fine,” Emir acquiesced after a few moments of deliberation. “If Tristan wants to, I will go along with it.” All eyes turned to me. 

“I’ll agree only if you all agree to find a way to test to see if we actually can kill them with our shared skill sets. I want no risks taken in this first test. We find a solitary demon, or we back off. And then Kane takes it down, with support from Tristan and Val. If we can’t kill it quickly, we retreat and make our way to a shelter instead. Alright?” No one argued my point, instead just nodding. Val beamed at all of us, loving that her idea had been accepted. “I suggest we all sleep tonight, and we can start this whole debacle tomorrow night.” I walked to the kitchen and the now boiling water and turned it off, scooping some of the scalding water into the dirty bowls and scrubbing them clean with the rough sponge we’d managed to get our hands on. Emir was by my side helping in a moment, and we made quick work of the bowls before laying down to sleep on either side of Tristan. 

Sleep came slowly, but once it hit me, I slept hard. I was shaken awake the next morning by Tristan, whose brow was creased in worry. “Shirin,” he said quietly as I tried to calm the raging headache that came with wakefulness. “You have a fever. I need you to drink some water.” His words sounded slow, but at the same time, I recognized that he was speaking normally. I did my best to prop myself up and allow the cool water that Tristan poured to slid down my throat. He was careful to keep the flow steady, and I was grateful for his caution. Once the water was gone, I laid down once more and closed my eyes. 

“How is she doing?” I heard before I fell out of consciousness without even time to correct the improper pronoun usage. 

The next time I woke up, I was far more aware of everything, including that every limb on my body ached. I groaned as I opened my eyes, and I immediately felt a hand on my forehead. I glanced over at the owner, Emir this time. “You’re fever’s gone down. I’m glad it seemed to just be a 24 hour bug. Do you think you can eat something? We have a bowl of grits left from this morning.” I shrugged. I was very hungry, but I don’t know if I can manage to swallow right then. I knew talking would hurt too much. Emir scowled and took his hand away. “Can you at least try? It’s no good for you to be so weak.” I ignored the slight and looked around the room. I couldn’t find anyone else, so I opened my mouth to ask. Emir answered my question first. “They all went out to see if they could kill a demon.” I shot up from my position lying on the floor, inadvertently hitting Emir with my shoulder. He moved to the side and rolled his eyes at my glare. “It’s not like we can put aside all of our plans just because you went and got sick.” 

“It should have taken longer to plan for this,” I managed to croak out despite the pain in my throat. 

Emir sighed and walked over to our kitchen grabbing a cup and filling it with water before bringing it back to me. He held it out and ensured that I was drinking it before he responded. “Don’t talk; you’ll just hurt your throat. Demons wandered closer to us than they normally do early this morning. They were going to find us one way or another, so they all decided it would be best to strike as soon as possible. I stayed here to take care of you.” 

“But -” He cut me off with a glare. 

“I know. I was supposed to make sure no one died or some such nonsense. I know you guys were only trying to give me something to do, so it’s not a huge change in plans. Besides, one demon versus three of them, if they can’t manage then we were bound to die eventually. Anyway, if you can’t eat, try to get some more rest. One way or another, we have to leave in the morning.” Emir took the empty glass from me and pushed me down to the floor, ensuring that my head landed softly on the pillow. Then he walked away, scurrying around the cellar. I watched him for a little while before my eyes drifted shut again, and I slept. 

The third time I woke up, everything felt clearer, but it was very quiet around me. I opened my eyes to faint moonlight. Looking next to me, I saw that neither Tristan nor Emir were in their usual spots. To my other side, Val and Kane slept soundly. When I stopped shuffling, I could hear faint voices from outside the door, which was cracked open. We never left the door cracked. I frowned and slowly got up and made my way to the stairs. From the bottom of them, I could hear the conversation much more clearly. 

“-the best time,” Tristan had just finished saying. 

“I don’t really care what the rest of them think, Tristan. Why do you have to be so afraid of everyone else?” Emir seemed to be in a bad mood as he snapped at Tristan as I had never heard him before. Tristan didn’t answer his angry question, and Emir eventually sighed. “I’m sorry. That was an overreaction. I don’t know; I just can’t seem to stay calm about this anymore.” 

After a few moments, Tristan also sighed. “Maybe we should just go back inside. We can talk later.” 

“When are we ever going to have the chance to talk alone again?” Emir asked in a grumble, but still he reached for the door and opened it. He clamored down and only noticed me about halfway down. 

“Were you listening?” He asked. I smiled wryly at the embarrassment in his voice. 

“Only for a little while. I was just worried that you two were outside,” I answered in a whisper, indicating the other two who were still sleeping with my hand. 

“Sorry to worry you,” Tristan said, voice equally low, “There were just some things we needed to talk about.” 

“And I take it the talk didn’t go well?” I asked before I could stop myself. 

Emir sighed. “No, it did not go well at all,” he said before brushing passed me and laying down. I raised an eyebrow at Tristan, but he just shook his head. 

“It’s nothing,” he said, following Emir’s lead and laying back down. I sighed and followed them back down. There was no way I was going to get back to sleep, not with all the sleep I had done the day before. It seemed best to just try to quietly get to packing the things that we needed. After all, we were leaving today, regardless of how successful they had been the night before. Later in the day, when the sun was up, we would see if Tristan’s parents’ car was still usable. If it was, there were more things we could bring, but otherwise, we would have to slim down a lot. 

A few minutes into me packing food tightly into two backpacks, Emir joined me. He didn’t ask about anything, didn’t say a word, simply grabbed another bag and started packing other essentials into it. The next to wake up and start helping was Tristan, followed by Val. Kane slept until we had packed five bags as tightly as we could. I reheated the food in the pot, adding the last bit of water from the night before, while Val and Emir fetched some water for the day. We ate when they returned and finally woke Kane up. 

A few minutes after scrubbing the bowls down and laying them gently to the side, I looked over at everyone and began, “The car…” 

“Works,” Val didn’t let me continue. “We checked it yesterday. Moved it back to the road too. It took some time, but it should be functional. We added some of the gas that Tristan’s dad left as well, so we’ve got a full tank to start with.” I smiled, and began packing a few more bags. We can bring a bit more then. Including the blankets and pillows. I unplug the travel stove, hoping that we may find room for it and the pot, since they make feeding five mouths far easier than it would be otherwise. We have to make two trips to the car, but we get the truck packed to the brim. Val, Emir, and Tristan piled into the back, and Kane claimed the driver seat. I slid into the passenger side and we began driving. 

At first, we were all waiting for something to happen, afraid that leaving the cellar for the first time in months was going to land us right into trouble. But after a few hours of nothing, we begin chatting. Nothing serious, we’ve crossed those topics off the list. Kane had learned not to question it when Val asked him politely, and then not so politely, not to refer to her as a boy, and I had mentioned in passing that I didn’t really fit either gender. He still made mistakes, but Emir and Tristan adapted pretty quickly. Since then, we hadn’t strayed close to any sensitive topics, deciding instead to simple reminisce about our home lives. Our topic of the day: firsts. 

“I remember the first time I ran as an official competitor at a track meet. I loved it so much, and could barely believe that running was considered a sport. Best sprinter of my year.” Val was fast, so it only made sense that she had been a member of the track team. 

We stayed on competitions for a while: Kane talking about his soccer team getting to nationals, Emir listing his academic accolades. I talked about art competitions, and only Tristan seemed to stay quiet during the conversation. 

“Tristan,” I prodded gently, turning about in my seat to face the back of the car. “What about you?” 

“Oh,” he breathed, seemingly not expecting us to address him. “I, um… I’ve never won anything,” He said after a moment, his gaze drifting to his lap. Emir reached out and took hold of one of his hands. 

“That’s alright,” he said, his voice softer than usual. “Awards don’t really mean anything in the end. What good is a Best in Show ribbon outside of the science fair?” Tristan shrugged. The comment hadn’t seemed to make him feel better. 

“Well, why don’t you tell us about a different first then?” I asked. “It can be anything really. Your first vehicle, your first time away from home, your first memory, your first kiss. Anything.” I saw Emir visibly tense up when I mentioned a kiss, and I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn’t want him to make Tristan feel even less like he belonged by saying something out of turn. Emir wouldn’t even meet my eyes. 

Eventually, we simply changed the subject since Tristan didn’t seem keen to participate in the conversation. After a few more hours of nothing but fields, the conversation died down. When I glanced at the back of the car again, Tristan seemed to have drifted off, leaning against Emir’s shoulder, and causing the younger boy to blush deeply. I turned back to the front and left them to it. A few hours later, and I was drifting off as well. 

We camped in the car that night, filling it up on gas before locking the doors and sleeping fitfully. The last of the gas was used in the early afternoon the second day, and we were running severely low on it when we finally came upon a small town. It looked practically deserted, but it did have a gas station. Val used to work in one, so she knew how to turn the pumps on manually. We pulled into the station. Kane got out of the car and dragged Tristan with him to stand watch around the place. Val and I entered the small shop, Val to turn on the gas, and me to grab some nonperishable food to add to our stash. Emir was left behind to pump the gas once Val got it on. 

What we didn’t expect upon entering the store was to find ourselves at the end of a gun barrel. “Who are you?” The man asked none too gently. 

“We’re just passing through, and we needed gas.” I said, trying to sound as gentle as possible. Val bristled next to me, and I sent her a warning glance. It would suck if one of us got shot now, just when we had found other people. 

He glared at us for a few more moments before lowering the gun. “Call your friends in. The demons’ll be upon us soon. I don’t want you all losing anyone.” We called the others in, and all piled into a small room that the man ushered us in. 

“How do you know that they’re coming?” Kane asked suspiciously, as he walked in to the room last. 

“They’ve been coming the same time everyday lately. We don’t really know why, but they take one person and leave until the next day. It’s like they’re playing with us. There are some in this town that would be happy to give up a stranger rather than one of our own. I’ve been trying to convince them to fight back, but it’s no good, and fighting on your own is liable to get you killed out there.” I looked over at the old man, my eyes adjusting quickly to the darkness in the room. He appeared shaken, which was only to be expected. 

“Well, what if we fight together?” Kane asked suddenly, and I immediately shook my head. 

“No, no, no. You said we would try it once with one demon and work up from there if it worked,” I argued. “There’s no telling how many will come this time. I’m against this.” 

“You’re against helping people, Shirin? They need our help. We were going to tackle three this time, what’s a few more? With this guy’s help, we can make this work, I think.” Kane’s words did nothing to instill confidence in me, but Val grinned in agreement. Tristan shrugged, apparently willing to go along with anything. I turned to Emir, my only possible ally, but even he looked conflicted. 

“You’re not going to agree with them, are you Emir?” I asked, my voice just above a growl. He winced and averted his eyes from me before speaking. 

“We don’t really have much of a choice, though, do we? If we leave without doing anything, they’ll all die eventually, and we’ll feel guilty about it. If we stay without doing anything, we’ll just end up dying too. If we fight now, we could catch the demons unawares. We have three fighters, plus this guy at least. That’s four more people fighting back than they expected. We’ve learned that the demons are less animalistic than we originally thought, so this method could work, so long as enough people join in when they see us pushing back. How many people do you think we could expect to join when they see others fighting?” 

The old man shrugged, “Four maybe five that I can think of off the top of my head.” 

“And how may demons usually come?” 

“Six. The most we’ve seen, that was the first time, was ten. But they still only kill or take one person.” 

“So we’ve already got them at 6 to 6, if even half of the expected four join the fight, we’ll be golden. That is, as long as you’re going to help us, Shirin.” 

I glared at him, but sighed. “Of course I’m not going to let you all do this on your own, but just know that I think this is a bad idea,” I said crossing my arms and huffing. I couldn’t believe that they were actually going through with this. It was dangerous, so dangerous, and it was making us huge targets for this group of demons. 

They - Kane and Val - were chatting eagerly with the old man about his weapon stash, and eventually, a gun was pressed into my hand. I gripped it gingerly, and looked up at Emir who tried to give me a small smile of reassurance. “Is this really for the best?” I asked him. He grimaced. 

“Not for our survival, but for our mental well being. I don’t think Kane and Val would get over leaving thes people very easily. I don’t think you would forgive yourself either…” I looked away and sighed. 

“Then we have to make sure that we have a plan then, won’t we?” I said, and brought the gun up, tightening my grip on it. 

“Not so much a plan, since we don’t really know enough about them to formulate a full plan. It will be planning on the go.” I sighed, but nodded. We just had to make sure that all of us survived. I don’t think any of us could take the guilt if we didn’t all make it out of this alive. 

We left the safe room, Kane, Val, and the old man at the head, with Tristan and Emir coming behind them, and myself at the rear, with a gun in one hand and a first aid kit in the other. I didn’t know what good it would be in this situation, but better to have it and not need it. I caught up to the others and stood next to Tristan, taking deep breaths to keep myself calm. 

They came all at once, moving faster than I remembered them moving before. Emir barked out orders to us, but my brain couldn’t understand the words, so I just started shooting. I missed several times, but I saw one of the shots hit one of them. The demon hissed and turned towards me before moving my direction. Kane jumped between us and physically threw the demon back before shooting it once in the heart. Before I could thank him, he was in the fray again. Behind us, I heard cheering as Kane took out another, and Val took out her first. Tristan focused on keeping demons away from Emir. Very few of them seemed concerned with them at any rate. Maybe they weren’t as smart as Emir thought. As four people rushed up to the demons, I fell back to Emir. “Shirin, you just watch for anyone who needs support now. Otherwise, stay here, alright?” I nodded. The battle was decided quickly after that. Two demons ran, and the others were all disposed of. 

That night was the first celebration that we had had since the demons had first appeared. The town held back on food, for obvious reasons, but there was music and laughter, and I couldn’t believe how such a small victory changed everyone’s attitude. I was swept away in the celebrations, letting myself drown in the happiness and optimism that infected the people. No one had died; the demons were gone. 

After awhile, I found myself next to Emir, resting after a rather tiresome dance. I smiled at him, and he managed a weak smile back. “It went well. I’m glad we listened to you,” I said, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Emir hummed in acceptance, but didn’t say anything. I frowned. “What’s wrong?” 

“Don’t you think this was too easy?” He asked, turning towards me. “It should have been more of a challenge. We should have lost someone, but we’re all here, and the other demons, they just fled. Don’t you find that strange?” 

I sighed. It was weird, but why question it? “I think you’re thinking too hard. Why not go relax with Tristan? He looks like he’s waiting for you.” He wasn’t really waiting, but he was glancing in our direction quite a bit. I waved at him before turning back to Emir and winking. “We won’t get to relax forever, so you may as well take advantage of it, right? Wasn’t there a conversation you wanted to finish?” His cheeks flushed, and I laughed. Walking away, I waved at him without looking back. “Don’t take too long,” I called before letting myself be swept up in a wave of dancers again. This was our first celebration since The End, and I would be damned if I didn’t enjoy it.


	3. Val

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New home; new problems.

We had been in this small town - Lykgringe, they called it - for five months now, and we had been going out and hunting demons nearly every night. Shirin required us to take nights off occasionally. They and some of the others in town that didn’t hunt had set up a schedule. They had turned this into work. And I hated it. Looking at the schedule, I groaned; they had put me on standby again. I ripped the schedule down and stalked towards the house that the five of us had been put up in and shoved it in their face. “What is this?” I asked in nearly a snarl. Behind them, I saw Emir flinch a little, and I wondered if he had something to do with it. 

“Val, calm down. We just thought you could use a little break, since you were limping when you came back in yesterday,” Shirin said, gently taking the paper from my hand and straightening it. They were always telling us to not waste resources, and I was sick of that too. 

“And who noticed that?” I asked nastily, throwing a look to Emir. “Certainly not you, what with how busy you are coordinating everyone’s lives.” 

“I do it to ensure that people come back alive, Val. And no, I didn’t notice. Emir is always letting us know of any changes in people. He was the one who told us last week that Kane had a cough. Turned out, he had a cold and was laid out for two days. What if something had happened in the field to make it worse? I’m taking the same precautions with you as I did with Kane.” 

“And Tristan?” I asked, crossing my arms and smirking at them. I was hoping to embarrass them. We all treated Tristan with more care than anyone else. Shirin had thought it was strange at first, but eventually chalked it up to just a natural inclination to protect, which no one could argue with. Tristan always appeared to need a lot more protection. He was such a shy little thing, and he always seemed so uncertain about himself. 

“Tristan is special, and you know it,” Shirin responded. “That’s why he’s scheduled even less often then you.” 

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Well, I want to go out tonight, so change it.” 

They met my eyes and cocked an eyebrow. “It can’t be changed. You’re on tomorrow, so long as it gets better. Use tonight as a day to rest.” I groaned and collapsed dramatically on the closest armchair, landing face down. I heard a sigh behind me and shuffling footsteps. “Cheer up, Val,” Shirin said, “You’re back on duty tomorrow. So just let that ankle rest and everything will be fine.” 

I pulled my face from the cushion and glared over my shoulder, although I couldn’t see them. “Who said anything was wrong with my ankle?” Shirin chuckled again, and this time I sighed. Turning over in one fluid motion, I sat properly in the chair and met Emir’s eyes. His face was flushed and I sighed. “I appreciate your concern, Emir, but if I’m not out there, who’s looking out for Tristan?” 

“That would be me.” I rolled my eyes at the statement, and shifted my gaze to Kane who had just emerged from the bathroom. “I can look after him just as well as you can.” 

“No, you can’t,” I snapped, narrowing my eyes, “You’re too busy charging in before anyone else and almost dying.” 

“So I won’t today,” he said with a shrug. “It’s an easy fix.” 

“If it’s so easy, why haven’t you done it before now?” Shirin walked between us shaking their head. 

“Is this really something to be fighting over?” They asked. 

“Yes,” Kane and I responded in unison and turned our attention back on each other. 

“No, it’s not,” Emir interjected, speaking in his usual haughty tone, despite his discomfort at the situation being obvious. “I’ll be the one watching out for him today since I was the one who suggested Val needed a day off. So no need to change anything Kane, just do what you do best.” 

“Are you saying that I’m not capable of keeping an eye on him?” Kane asked, stepping towards Emir threateningly. 

“No one needs to keep an eye on me,” Tristan said crossly from the doorway. “So why don’t you all just stop treating me like a child?” None of us said anything in response to that. We hadn’t even noticed him walk in. Emir’s face was heating up again, and I could feel mine warming as well. Even Kane had the decency to look ashamed. We never had any intention to make him feel poorly, and we had never seen him snap at us like this. We just all had come to a silent consensus that if we lost Tristan, we would lose each other. It wasn’t something that any of us were keen to experience. 

I stood up and walked over to him. “Tristan…” I started slowly, unsure of what words would appease him. “We’re sorry. It’s just… losing Kane would hurt, but we would live through it. Losing you… losing you is unthinkable. Please don’t take our protection the wrong way.” 

“What way? As in you guys think as soon as you lose sight of me, I’m going to fall off the face of the earth and disappear? I don’t want to leave you anymore than you want me to leave, but… I want you guys to be able to trust me. Please.” His last words faded to a whisper, and I felt the urge to hug him. So I did. I wrapped my arms around him and brought him close to me. Shirin and Emir seemed to have had similar instincts as they came up and tightly grasped his hands. 

“Sorry,” we all whispered out of sync with each other. 

“We do trust you,” I said fiercely, tightening the hug. “We do. We just wouldn’t survive without you.” He scoffed, so I continued. “No, it’s true. We could survive as individuals, but our group would not stay together without you around. You’re our glue. Please Tristan. We love you.” He stiffened and pulled away. As he did, I saw that his face was a bright red, almost the same color as Emir’s hair. 

“I know,” he said softly. He stumbled back to the wall, glasses askew on his face, and collapsed as he repeated himself. “I know.” He seemed devastated by the words, and I couldn’t understand why. Frowning, I reached out to touch him again, but Shirin grabbed my hand and shook their head. They pulled me away as Emir sat near Tristan to comfort him. Emir was not the one most in touch with his feelings, but he’d always been more affected by Tristan than the rest of us. All of us knew it. That he was in love, but we weren’t sure whether he knew it or not. 

I sat back down in the chair that I had vacated earlier and slumped down, crossing my arms over my chest. Why had Tristan walked in right when he did? If he hadn’t heard all that, he might not be so down, and if he wasn’t so down, the rest of us wouldn’t feel miserable. Shirin sat on the couch across from me next to Kane. Both of them seemed more composed than me, and they had each other. I was a fifth wheel, and wouldn’t I always be? 

I stood up abruptly and left the room. I heard Shirin call after me, but I ignored them. I had to leave; I couldn’t sit still. I left the house and I jogged around town. Several people greeted me; a few even tried to start conversations. I ignored all of them. I pretended that there weren’t demons that were out to kill us all, that everyone was safe, that I was back at home where everything was normal and fine and perfect. It was just a routine jog. I wasn’t jealous of the only people that I was close to. I didn’t feel as if I was on the outside again. The only things I had to worry about were my dad, who wasn’t talking to me after I came out as trans, and my grades, that were dropping because of stress. My run helped me let go. It always did. 

When I finally let reality sink back in, I was on the outskirts of town. The guards on the road eyed me warily, but didn’t say anything. Everyone in this town regarded us as something like heroes, but we weren’t. We were just kids who had no where else to go anymore. We only had each other. I slowed to a stop and took a few deep breaths. The sun was falling, and the hunt was going to start soon. The hunt that I was not a part of. I took one last deep breath and turned around to return to the house, my ankle aching. By the time I made it back, it was throbbing, and I wasn’t going to be able to hide it from anyone. 

I cursed as I stumbled through the door. Shirin immediately moved towards me, their eyes drifting down to my ankle. They threw me a glare before helping me hop over to the couch. “What did you do? I told you to rest it or it would get worse,” they said crossly, touching it gingerly and lifting it onto the couch. I hissed in pain. 

“Don’t! Don’t touch it,” I winced as I spoke and received a disapproving look in return. 

“If you hadn’t run off for no reason, it wouldn’t be in this state, would it?” Shirin left me for a moment and returned with an icepack, which they placed gently on the ankle. 

“Shi, Val, we’re off.” The soft voice belonged to Tristan of course. Neither of the others would have interrupted. “I’m sorry about earlier. Please don’t worry about me.” 

“We can’t not worry about you,” Shirin responded, much more gently than when they were talking to me. “Be safe. All of you.” 

They turned back to me, glaring for a moment before sighing. “At least now you have to rest,” they muttered, settling down in the chair across from me. I grumbled, but settled in for a long night. I would be no use if my ankle didn’t get better. I wouldn’t even be able to run. After a few hours, I closed my eyes and drifted off. 

I woke up when Tristan, Kane, and Emir dragged themselves back inside in the middle of the night. Shirin didn’t realize I was awake, so they spoke to the others quietly. “How did it go?” I heard faintly. Kane shrugged noncommittally, and Emir seemed to wince. “That good huh? Well, stay quiet while you get cleaned up and head to bed. Val fell asleep. I don’t want you waking her up, you hear?” They seemed to agree, but they had walked out of my line of sight at this point, and I was still too tired to try to follow them, so I closed my eyes and drifted off again. 

The next time I woke, it was morning, and the smell of breakfast greeted me. My stomach grumbled in protest reminding me that I hadn’t eaten yesterday. I shifted my legs, and felt a faint pain in my ankle and something wet drifting up my leg. I opened my eyes and groaned. The ice had melted and the bag was leaking water everywhere. I was thoroughly uncomfortable. I moved my stiff legs so that I was sitting upright before trying to stand. As I did, I realized that my ankle was worse off than I had thought and began pitching forward. I was thankfully, stabilized by a hand gripping my shoulder. I looked at Kane gratefully, before pulling my shoulder gently from him. “I’m good,” I said to his unasked question and limped to the bedroom where I changed pants and laid the other pair out to dry. 

I returned to the other room to find Tristan laying out a towel on the couch while Kane looked on with a scowl. He looked up when I walked in. “You made a mess,” he stated. I rolled my eyes. 

“Sorry I can’t keep water from melting,” I snapped back, leaning against the wall for support. 

“You could have at least disposed of the bag of water properly. You just let it fall to the couch and left it there.” 

“God, Kane, it’s a bit of water. Can’t you just let it go?” 

He didn’t say anything, simply walking into the kitchen, not giving me another look. I tossed Tristan an apologetic look. “I would’ve had done that,” I said, limping over and sitting on the arm of the couch. 

“It’s not a big deal,” he replied, giving me a small smile. “Besides, it looks like you’re still hurt.” He reached out to touch my ankle gingerly, and his smile turned into a frown when I winced. “It’s so swollen, Val. Are you sure you don’t need to do something more about it? They have a doctor in town; should we have her come look at it?” He was worrying unnecessarily, but I was happy for it anyway. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ve had worse when I was on the track team. I’ve just got to rest it for a few days. Don’t worry about me. Just don’t get killed out there while I’m not around, alright?” I scooted myself to the seat of the couch once he stopped fiddling with the towel. 

“So I can get killed if you are there?” He asked with a wry smile. I rolled my eyes. 

“No, I won’t let that happen,” I replied with a sigh. “But really, stay safe, alright?” He nodded, his smile softening. 

Emir walked in from the kitchen to inform us that breakfast was ready. Tristan insisted on helping me walk to the table. We ate and I finally asked about the night before. Emir and Tristan exchanged looks, and, after a long pause, Emir answered me. “We lost someone. Martin. He went too far away from the rest of the group and we couldn’t get him back. We pushed the demons away from town, but they took him.” 

I frowned. “How many were there last night?” There was the hesitation again before the answer. 

“Fifteen. And only nine of us,” Emir said, putting down his fork and knotting his hands together. 

“Why were there only nine of us?” I asked, my eyes narrowing. 

Shirin answered this time. “I had planned for twelve people, but three had to pull out because of the sickness that’s been going around. I’ll be reworking the future schedules going forward, and Emir is working out strategies better fit for less people. Fewer and fewer townspeople want to get involved in these fights, and the people that are willing to fight are put at risk for injuries both in what they do during the day and at night. We may need to get everyone together and strategize as a group to figure out the best way to optimize our manpower.” 

I looked down at my plate. Irrationally, I felt guilt for not being there. I wouldn’t have made a difference, not with my ankle the way it was, but I couldn’t help but feel that I had betrayed them by not going with them. It wasn’t reasonable, but it was there. 

“I’m going to get the doctor to come and look at your ankle Val,” Shirin said, changing the subject. I looked up at them, ready to argue, but they shook their head. “I don’t want to hear it. It’s swollen so much since last night. We have to figure out what is wrong with it, so that you can get better. You’re needed out there, Val, but not with that ankle.” I scowled, but nodded. It wouldn’t hurt to let the doctor look at it. That’s why she had gotten an education in the first place. Shirin seemed relieved when I didn’t argue, and we finished the meal in relative silence. I stood up to help with the clean up, but was gently pushed back into my chair before I could start. 

“Rest,” Shirin said for what seemed to be the millionth time. 

“But it’s my turn to do the dishes,” I argued, crossing my arms over my chest. “There’s no reason for me to not be able to at least get in the kitchen and wash them.” 

Shirin shook their head. “Emir and Tristan have already volunteered to do your share of the chores for now, just rest. Don’t make us worry about you even more, alright?” 

I hated that they were babying me. It was just a swollen ankle. Yeah, it made walking hard, but that didn’t mean that I was incapable of helping at least to clean up around the house. I was banned from fighting. I was banned from running. Now, I was banned from washing dishes. What would they think of next? Banning me from using the bathroom alone? My face burned in embarrassment just at the thought. I didn’t like this at all. “So what can I do?” I asked as Shirin walked back into the room. 

“I’ll help you back to the couch, where you can elevate your leg again, and I’ll get you a book or something,” they said, and I groaned. I hated reading. “Then I’ll go get the doctor so that she can come take a look at your ankle,” they continued as if I hadn’t responded as they wiped down the table. They returned to the kitchen for a moment before coming back and helping me limp to the couch. Shirin ensured that my ankle was elevated and asked several times if I was comfortable before putting two books - one fiction, one sudoku - and a pencil within my reach. As they left, I grabbed the sudoku puzzle book and the pencil and opened to the front page. Even this was better than reading. 

I had done sudoku before, but smaller, easier versions than this book. I had figured out a good chunk of it, but now, every time I thought that I had a number’s placement, I found something that made it not plausible. When I groaned my frustration audibly, Emir looked up from his place in the chair across from me. “Stuck are you?” He asked, placing a piece of scrap paper in the book that he was currently enjoying. “Want me to see if I can help?” I rolled my eyes, but offered him the book and the pencil. He looked it over for a few moments before scribbling some things down in the margins and handing it back. 

“A few of your numbers are wrong, I circled them, and added a place to keep track of how many of each number you still need placed. Also, if you write the possibilities for each square it will help you figure out some of the others. I don’t know if you’re quite at this level, but hopefully this’ll help you.” I rolled my eyes again, reminded why Emir and I didn’t get along so well. He was such a pretentious nerd. Even when he was offering help, he was condescending. Him being right didn’t make the attitude any harder to swallow. 

“Yeah well, it was try this or read. And I think we all know how I feel about books at this point.” He chuckled and passed the book back to me, the pencil tucked inside it. I opened it, glanced at his additions and sighed. I didn’t really understand any of it. It made the whole thing even harder for me. I put the book down and closed my eyes, placing my hand over them. 

After a few moments of peace, I heard Emir shuffle closer to me. Sighing, I pulled my hand away and looked up at him. “What?” I asked, feeling far more snappish than usual. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were still okay,” he said quietly. 

“I’m fine, Emir. I’m not that fragile. You should know that by now.” 

“I do, I do,” he insisted, hands up defensively, “It’s just that… I worry that you’re mad at me…” 

“Oh? Why would I be mad? It’s not like you told Shirin that I might have an injury and got me lectured at for an immeasurable amount of time last night, followed by a second lecture this morning. It’s not like you had anything to do with the reason that I’m being forced to not even move around the house without someone hovering over me. Why would I ever be cross with you?” I was blaming him because I was frustrated. I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I knew he would blame himself if I got angry, and it made it all the easier to push everything onto him. I just didn’t realize Tristan was in the room. 

“Val, he was just worried about you,” the voice came from behind the couch, and I strained to look at him, my face flushing in embarrassment. I didn’t like to think of myself as cruel, and I hated that Tristan had witnessed this moment. But to save face, I kept it up. 

“Yeah, but he didn’t have to ruin everything just because he was worried,” I bit out, stopping all attempts to look at Tristan. I heard footsteps and knew he had approached the couch as well. Without looking, I could feel his reproachful stare, and I regretted my stubborn personality. 

“It’s not his fault you got hurt, Val,” Tristan said gently. He was always gentle. Why couldn’t I be? 

“Whose to say it’s not? I probably twisted my ankle on a mission, and who gives us on the spot tactics? Emir does. He’s probably got something to do with it, one way or another.” I couldn’t stop the words from coming out, even though I didn’t believe them. It wasn’t Emir’s fault at all, but who else could I lay blame on? Only myself. 

“Stop.” My eyes widened at his tone and I finally looked up. Tristan rarely got angry at any of us, and I immediately felt the urge to break down and speak all my thoughts, even though I knew I would never have the courage to do that. “Don’t talk about him like that. Emir, let’s go. Val can call us when she needs something or is willing to be better company.” He took Emir gently by the arm and guided the youngest from the room. Emir didn’t resist and I wondered for a moment how badly I had hurt him with my words. 

The day passed slowly after that, with Tristan coming into check on me occasionally, but always treating me coldly. I never apologized, and Emir never approached me again. They left for the hunt that night, and I fell asleep. The doctor wasn’t able to come see me until the next morning, and even when she did, she was only able to tell us that I would need to rest it for at least a week before attempting to put much weight on it. I almost screamed in rage, but seeing Tristan’s face still looking at me disapprovingly, I quieted my emotions. I didn’t have long conversations with anyone during this time, though I heard a lot of the others talking to each other in the other rooms of the house. Shirin and Kane grew closer, as we all knew would happen. The more surprising event was Tristan and Emir’s quiet fight three nights after my doctor visit. It was in whispers, so I couldn’t hear what they were talking about. It ended with Emir huffing angrily and leaving the house, slamming the door behind him. Tristan took the seat across from me, appearing to shake, whether from anger or fear of Emir’s anger, I didn’t know. 

Frowning, I turned his way. “What was that about?” I asked quietly. 

He looked up at me, near tears, before answering. “It’s nothing.” 

“Like hell, it’s nothing,” I spat. “Why is he making you cry?” 

Tristan scowled and wiped at his eyes. “I’m not crying,” he said after a moment. 

“You’re as good as. What happened, Tristan?” This was probably why Emir had left. None of us liked to see Tristan upset, and I had had the thought that it was much worse for Emir many times. 

“It’s nothing,” he repeated. “It’s my fault, so it’s nothing really. Can you, just, let me be?” I sighed and turned away at the request. If he didn’t want people to worry about him, I would at least appear to comply. I couldn’t not worry, though. It was absolutely impossible to not worry about Tristan, especially when soft sobs started reaching my ears. 

I tried to ignore them. I tried to respect his request because I knew how it felt to have my feelings ignored, but I could not ignore his tears. I sat up and limped the few paces that separated us, sitting on the arm of the chair and placing my hand on his back. “Please tell me what I can do to make you feel better,” I pleaded gently rubbing his back. He stiffened and swatted my hand away. He got up from the chair and glared at me through the still falling tears. 

“Just stop. Stop caring because you don’t really, so I don’t need it. I really don’t need it.” I felt a little bit of anger flare up, but it was mostly annoyance that surged through me. 

“We don’t fucking choose who to care about, Tristan. It just happens. And we do care about you. All of us. Emir included. What happened between you two that brought this on?” Tristan didn’t answer, just continued to glare before turning away from me and leaving the room. Sighing, I limped back to the couch and propped my ankle up again. 

The next day, Tristan pretended as if nothing had happened. Emir met my eyes a few times, and I knew he thought it strange as well, but we left it. If Tristan wanted to forget, we would let him, so long as he seemed happy with the decision. 

The next couple days passed slowly, and finally, there were only two more days until my re-evaluation. We had had a few more injuries and one more loss, but Emir was doing his best to ensure that everyone got home safely, but with the numbers dwindling, it seemed we couldn’t continue to do hunts every night. They were going out once more, and then there would be a two night break. By the next hunt, I would back in fighting shape, if all went well. Tristan, Emir, and Kane left for the night, and Shirin retired after ensuring that I was okay on my own. I drifted off for a few hours before the slamming of the door jolted me awake. 

Emir was in tears, and Kane was carrying someone - Tristan - whose leg was so bloody I felt sick to my stomach. “Go get the doctor,” Kane snapped at Emir who nodded and scampered off. Kane carried Tristan out of my line of sight, and I sat up, straining to see into the other room. 

“What happened? What’s going on?” I called, pulling myself to my feet and trying to scamper towards the dining room. 

“Just stay there; you’re just going to get in the way if you come in here.” I scowled, but did as Kane said, settling back down on the couch. I couldn’t sleep though. Not knowing that Tristan could be in there, bleeding out for all I knew. I dreaded him dying. It would ruin us. 

The doctor arrived in a rush and made her way to the dining room. Emir hovered at the doorway, blocking my view entirely, and I finally laid all the way back down. I couldn’t do anything but worry though, and I was soon straining up to see what I could figure out 

“What happened?” I asked finally managing to catch Emir’s attention. “Why does Tristan look so…?” I left my question unfinished when I saw Emir turning green at the memory. Tears pricked his eyes and he wiped them away angrily. 

“It was my fault,” He said glaring at the ground. “I wasn’t paying attention, and one of the demons broke through the line and targeted me. They’re getting more intelligent. Tristan got in the way of the attack. We retreated immediately. I don’t know if anyone else got hurt or died. Kane picked up Tristan and we rushed back. He’s lost a lot of blood though. I don’t know what to do anymore, Val. What if his leg never gets better? What if it rots? What if he dies?” The blood drained from his face at the thought, and tears welled in his eyes when he continued. “What if he dies and it’s my fault?” At that moment, he seemed unable to say anymore as he put his face in his hands and went silent, sinking to the ground. 

I stood up as best I could and hobbled over to him. I leaned over and placed a hand on his back, rubbing in light circles. “It’s alright. You can’t know everything, Emir. Calm down.” 

“You said last week that it was my fault that you got hurt,” he snapped back. “If that was my fault, then this definitely was.” 

“Yeah, but Tristan would never blame you, would he?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. “And what matters more? What Tristan thinks or what I think?” 

“I don’t know,” He said again, taking a shaky breath, “What do you think?” 

“I think letting one person handle the tactics for the group is stupid, especially when it’s someone as young as you. You don’t deserve that pressure. Worse, how are you supposed to handle it? At your age, you should be worrying about homework, and friends, and maybe getting your first job. You shouldn’t have to take on other people’s lives. It’s not practical to expect you to be able to.” I stopped talking for a moment and pulled my hand back. “It’s not fair for any of us. None of this is fair, yet they expect so much from us.” 

Emir looked up at me, his face already stained with tears. He managed a humorless smile before saying, “Don’t worry. I don’t expect anything from you.” 

I rolled my eyes and swatted his head. “Me either, Emir. Glad we have something in common.” Our talk stalled, and we maneuvered to lean against the wall to the room that Tristan was currently in. After a few minutes of silence, Emir’s hand nudged mine before grasping it. I looked over in question, and he shrugged. 

“I felt like holding something,” he said quietly. I sighed, but didn’t pull my hand away. Another moment passed. “Why are your hands so big?” Emir asked crossly after a moment. “It’s uncomfortable.” 

“Sorry not all of us can be as petite and tiny as you are,” I answered, squeezing gently. “You can let go if you want.” He didn’t. 

We sat there in silence for minutes, hours; we weren’t sure which. Finally, the doctor backed out of the room, wiping her hands on a towel. “He needs rest. Lots of it,” she said, looking straight at us. “But he should recover fully in a few weeks.” Emir and I let out twin breaths that we didn’t know we’d been holding and dropped our hands. 

“Can we go in and see him?” Emir asked, scrambling to his feet. I stood up far more slowly, using the wall to help me. 

“He’ll need to be moved to one of the beds, but then you all should be good to visit him. One at a time, and not when he’s sleeping. He needs the rest, alright?” We nodded, and she left the house without another word. 

Kane carried Tristan out of the dining room after a few more minutes, and I made my way back to the couch to prop my ankle up once again. 

“The table needs to be cleaned,” Kane commented, glancing at Emir, who jumped to action immediately. Kane left the room, Tristan still in his arms, and returned a few moments later. Looking at me, he sighed. “We should all try to get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow. Where’s Shirin?” I shrugged. I didn’t even remember them leaving. Kane sighed again and went to check on Emir. 

Sleep didn’t come easily that night. I drifted in and out of nightmares of Tristan dying, me dying, Kane dying, Shirin dying, even Emir died in a few of the dreams. I woke up in cold sweats every time only to find out that it had been only half an hour or three quarters of an hour since I had last drifted off. When morning came, I felt as if I hadn’t slept at all, and Emir looked the same when he walked into the room, groggily greeting me. Shirin shuffled into the kitchen behind him, and informed us that they were letting Kane sleep late after everything that had happened. 

They started moving things around in the kitchen, and, knowing I wasn’t going to get anymore sleep, I called out, “Need any help?” 

“Not from you,” they answered. “You still have another day of rest before you can put too much weight on that ankle. Emir can help.” I made a face, though they couldn’t see me. Emir’s cooking always left something to be desired. 

When the food was ready, Emir brought me a plate and sat in the chair opposite me to eat. I frowned. “Are we eating out here now?” 

He shrugged. “It would feel weird eating at the table without Tristan,” he responded quietly. I nodded my agreement and tucked in to eat. Shirin left after scarfing their own food down in the kitchen, asking Emir to handle the clean up on their way out. We finished eating in silence, and Emir collected my plate, taking it to the kitchen. I heard water turn on and him start cleaning the dishes and sighed. Today was going to be long. 

Kane came out a few minutes later. He went straight to the kitchen and didn’t acknowledge anyone until he was done eating. He sat in the chair across from me and, after staring for a moment, sighed. “I don’t think we can keep this up,” he said after a moment. I frowned and he continued. “You’re down for a few more days. Tristan is out for weeks. We lost two more people yesterday, and a few others were injured in our retreat. That’s just what I heard from the doctor last night. There could be more than that. The demons increase in numbers everyday. I think we’ve pushed them far enough back that we can take a few days off, but after that, we’re going to have to be much more careful out there.” 

“We’re?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m not the one that got injured, Val,” he said, leaning back in the chair. “So yeah, we’re. We can’t afford to take big losses like this.” I nodded and shifted my position slightly. Emir turned the water off in the kitchen and darted through the room towards where Tristan had been laid down. 

“He’s still sleeping,” Kane called after him, but Emir didn’t answer, didn’t even acknowledge him. I smiled wryly as Kane rolled his eyes. “I don’t get them,” he said after a moment. 

“Of course you don’t,” I muttered under my breath. He heard me anyway and gave me an inquisitive look. He didn’t ask me to explain, so I merely picked up one of the books that had been left near me and tried to give reading a chance. 

Five minutes later, I put the book down, groaning. Kane grinned. “Tired of reading already?” He asked, chuckling. “Want to play a card game instead?” I nodded, relief obvious on my face, and he took out a deck of cards. 

We played for hours before Shirin came back in the door. Anything was better than reading after all. “Hey, you guys almost done? We need to talk,” Shirin sounded upset. 

I frowned and nodded. “Yeah, we’ll be done with this hand in a minute. Should we relocate to Tristan’s room?” 

“No,” Shirin answered quickly. “He needs to rest, so we should talk out here. I’ll go grab Emir though.” They walked out of the room and I turned my frown to Kane. 

“Tristan isn’t going to like us keeping things from him,” I remarked slowly, playing a card. 

Kane shrugged, playing his own card and shifting in his seat. “He shouldn’t have gotten hurt then,” he said as if it had been a conscious choice. 

“What, would you prefer that he let Emir die?” I asked, feeling more protective of Emir than I ever had before. Even if the boy was ridiculously annoying, he didn’t deserve to die. 

“I honestly don’t think he would have. I don’t think the demons will kill any of us,” he said it as a simple observation, but I frowned not understanding what he was hinting at. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. “They’ve killed plenty of us.” 

“Not us as in the town,” Kane said patiently, “Us as in the five of us. They won’t kill us; they tend to try not to even harm us, Tristan especially. He wasn’t supposed to get hurt, and when he did, they backed off.” 

I frowned. “I thought you said we still lost two people and a bunch of others got hurt?” I asked, confused. “If they backed off as soon as Tristan got hurt, how did that happen?” 

“The two that were killed were done in before, and the few that got hurt were hurt by other townspeople when we retreated without any real direction. Emir was no use at the time, so all we could do was shout at people to get back to town.” Kane shrugged, and played his last card. “They didn’t seem to pursue us; I would venture to say that they couldn’t. Something was holding them back. Something much stronger than them. I win.” 

I put the rest of my hand on top of the deck and sat back as he gathered the cards and replaced them in their box. “But if there is something stronger than them at play, why would it be protecting Tristan?” 

Kane shrugged again. “That would be a question better posed to him, wouldn’t it?” I sighed and opened my mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by Shirin and Emir stumbling into the room. 

Emir sat on the floor next to the couch, but Shirin took to pacing the room. We waited for a few minutes as they continued to pace without regard to us before Kane asked, “So what did we need to talk about?” 

“This town,” Shirin sputtered, clearly upset. “This town and all its incredibly wrong and hurtful superstitions. Did you know that they’re blaming Tristan for that mess last night? They think he has something to do with the the demons or some such nonsense.” Kane and I exchanged a look at this point, but let Shirin continue their rant. “And they think that all of us would be better off if they just banished him from town. Banishment! As if this was the 1500s or something. They really thought that we would agree to something like that, as if we would abandon any of our friends. We’re a family now, aren’t we? We can’t let them hurt any of us. I think we need to leave.” 

None of us argued, just exchanged grim looks. We had no idea where we would go next after all. This place had grown on us, but if they were going to try to kick Tristan out, they would be losing all of us. We had no choice; there was no way we would let him go alone. “When will we leave?” I asked quietly. 

“Not until Tristan is better,” Emir said crossly, daring us to argue. We didn’t. 

“So we’ll have to keep them placated until then. But we also need to make sure that they don’t take advantage of our absence from the house to do something terrible,” Kane mused, and we all shuddered at the thought. 

“I’ll move myself into the same room as Tristan,” I said, prompting all eyes to fall on me. “I can stand well enough to defend him if need be. And per the doctor’s instructions, I can start putting weight on my ankle again tomorrow. I’ll still be no good against demons, but surely I can handle a few people after a helpless kid. This way, you and Emir can keep them happy, Shirin can keep them ignorant, and I’ll keep them at bay. It all works out.” 

“We’ll be needing the car, right?” Shirin asked, “And some extra gas? I’ll talk to some people who aren’t on board with basically murdering Tristan. They’ll help us get out and on our way without trouble.” 

We all fell silent for a few moments. I think we were all feeling the same thing at that time, but I can’t be sure. This had to happen, but we didn’t like the timing, and we didn’t like the circumstances. It would be a few weeks before any of us would be comfortable with moving Tristan around in the way that we would have to move him around, and at that moment in time, those weeks appeared daunting. 

“What do we tell Tristan? Emir asked after some time. 

“Everything,” I answered immediately. They all looked at me, frowning. “He’s already gotten pissed at us for treating him differently once. Imagine how he would feel if we hid this.” They were silent for a while, as if actually imagining Tristan’s response, and then, Shirin nodded. 

“You’re right. We have to be honest about this, about everything.” Kane and I exchanged looks, and Kane shrugged, but waved a hand as if to give me permission. 

“On the matter of being honest, Kane was telling me something he noticed earlier,” I paused not sure exactly how to phrase what I would say next. Lucky for me, Kane picked up on my uncertainty. 

“The demons don’t want to hurt us. They are especially careful around Tristan,” He said drawing Emir and Shirin’s attention to him. “I don’t really know what it means, but it’s got to have something to do with Tristan.” 

“Are you saying that he’s hiding something from us?” Emir asked abruptly, narrowing his eyes at Kane. 

Kane shook his head. “No, he may not know anything about it. I’m just saying, it may be something we need to look into. Because if… if there is some merit to what the towns people are afraid of, we should know about it.” 

“So you can try to murder Tristan too?” Emir was seething now, his hands gripped so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. “Do you hate him? Is that it?” 

“No,” Kane said loudly, finally turning a glare on Emir. “Of course I don’t hate him. Of course I don’t want him hurt. I just think it would be good to know more about the things we’re up against. I would have thought you would want to as well, since you’re the tactics guy and all.” 

“You’re right. Sorry,” Emir was still angry; I could see it in his hands and his face, which was turning as red as his hair, but he managed to bite back the anger to see Kane’s logic. “I think I should go sit with Tristan. In case something happens…” 

He stood up and made to leave the room, but I grabbed his arm as he walked past. “I’ll go. I need to find a place to get comfortable in there anyway. You should talk with Kane, figure out your plan for the next couple of weeks.” Emir nodded reluctantly, and I lifted myself from the chair and left the room. Tristan was in the first bedroom, he and Emir usually shared it, so it was equipped with two beds. Lucky for me. 

I made my way to the unoccupied bed and, after sitting down, looked over to Tristan. I took in a sharp breath when I saw him staring at me. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were awake,” I said. 

He gave a weak smile and asked, “What’s going on out there?” His voice was low. I didn’t know if it was purposeful, or if it was simply because he was weak. Regardless, I frowned. 

“Shirin brought in some news that may be better delivered when you’re a little more awake and through someone else.” He was glaring again, so I hastened to explain, “I just want you to have to hear this only once. I promise we’re not hiding anything from you. There’s just… a lot to take in, and it would be better if you were awake for it.” He sighed after a moment and nodded in agreement. 

“You’ll tell me though? When I’m more rested?” 

“Me or someone else. Don’t worry. We’ve all agreed, no hiding anything from you or any of us,” I said, laying back and propping my leg up on the foot of the bed. 

“About time,” Tristan mumbled, and I glanced his way to see him turn away and curl in. He winced after a moment, and stretched his injured leg back out. 

“Be careful with that,” I cautioned quietly. “We want you better as soon as possible.” He said something under his breath that I couldn’t make out, but stopped moving about. Soon, his breathing slowed, and I assumed that he had gone to sleep. With nothing else to do, I drifted off as well. 

I woke to whispers from the other side of the bed. I opened my eyes and glanced over quickly. Emir sat close to the bed, Tristan turned to him, his glasses forgotten on the bedside table, and they were talking. My eyes and ears adjusted to reality, and I was finally able to tune into the conversation. I sighed when I realized that Emir was just informing Tristan of the earlier discussion and decision. I turned away to give them as much privacy as I could, and simply stared at the wall for the next forty-five minutes, chastising myself every time I strained to hear their words. 

“Val,” Emir called me, and I turned around, a sheepish grin on my face. 

“I wasn’t trying to listen, I swear,” I said, sitting up to look at them. 

Emir shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m taking off. We made lunch early, so when you guys get hungry, there are sandwiches in the kitchen.” He walked to the door, paused and looked back at me. “Please watch out for Tristan,” He said this quietly, clearly hoping Tristan wouldn’t catch it, but the scowl on the brunette’s face was a sign that he had indeed heard it, and he wasn’t going to grace it with a response. I nodded, and Emir left after giving me a grateful smile. 

After a moment, Tristan sighed. “You don’t have to, you know.” I looked to him, an amused smile fixing itself to my lips. “Look after me. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.” 

“Not right now, you aren’t,” I said, getting up and crossing the room, limping only a little bit. “Remember how you guys treated me when I first got injured?” He nodded reluctantly and I grinned. “It’s my turn to return the favor. So just sit back, read - you like books, right? - and let me take care of everything.” He sighed, but picked up a nearby book anyway. 

The day went by slowly. After a few hours, I limped from the room to grab the sandwiches and the books that I had left near the couch. We ate, I tried, unsuccessfully once more, to solve the sudoku puzzles and to read the book. Finally, I gave up and just began staring at the ceiling for hours. I heard Tristan flipping the page every once in awhile and wondered how I was ever going to get through two weeks of this. 

The next day was just as slow, and the day after that. The first week passed at a crawl. I was at least able to put more weight on my ankle after the first day, and I began a short, easy exercise routine daily. Halfway through the second week, and we had the gas and the car back and were packing up food that wouldn’t spoil. Tristan was able to hobble around without straining his leg too much, so we were able to do much of the packing while Shirin, Emir, and Kane took care of people. 

The day before we planned to leave was when the trouble came. A thudding knock at the door was the first sign. Hearing it, I frowned and motioned for Tristan to retreat back to his room. I walked to the door and cracked it open just enough to see outside. “Yeah?” I asked, looking at the crowd of people. Five men, all of them I recognized as from those that fought, and three women, none of them I recognized. Their expressions were all dark, angry. I knew almost immediately that they had come to demand that Tristan be kicked out of town. Eight people out of the fifty in the town, but no one was there to defend him. 

“We’re here to deal with that boy. We’re sure Shirin has mentioned it to you. After all, she told us she would.” I glared at them, angry on both Tristan and Shirin’s behalves. 

“There’s nothing to deal with. So long as we’re here, he stays. Have a good day.” I went to close the door, but a hand was quickly thrust through the hole before I could and the door forced open. I stepped out of the way so as to not get hurt, and the man who had forced his way in, stepped towards me. 

“We’re taking him out, one way or another. Don’t get in the way if you don’t want to get hurt,” his words were menacing, and I felt my blood run cold. I brushed aside any fear I had and rolled my eyes. 

“You? Hurt me? You didn’t even have the guts to stand up to the demons before we came along. Don’t make me laugh. You’re not laying a hand on Tristan. Do you understand?” As I spoke, I heard a distant thud and hoped that none of those storming the house heard it and that Tristan had successfully made it out of the window as we had planned for. 

The man cracked his knuckles and moved to hit me, but one of the women laid a hand on his shoulder. “Derrick, no more harm than is necessary. That’s what we said. Just get her out of your way.” The man - Derrick - growled and shoved past me. I grabbed his arm as he passed me, and praying that I remembered my defense lessons well, I twisted it. He groaned - either in surprise or pain - and I forced him to his knees. 

“I said, you’re not touching him.” The other men came up at this point, and they overpowered me quickly, leaving me on the floor of the front room, a little banged up but not seriously harmed in any way. They spread out through the house searching for him. I grabbed three full bags of food and bolted. We had to leave before they found out that he wasn’t in the house. 

I ran down the street, weighed down by the food, but knowing that it was a necessity, and found Tristan at the gas station we had entered the first time we’d arrived in town. I gave him a shaky smile, loaded the food into the back of the car, and gave him the keys. “If anyone comes, drive away for now. Come back and get us in a few hours. I’m going to grab the others. I’ll be back as soon as possible.” Tristan nodded, but I could still see him shaking as he slid into the driver’s seat of the car and locked the door. Knowing he was safe for the moment, I frantically ran through town. I found Shirin first, and sent them Tristan’s way asking them to be on the lookout for Emir and Kane. Emir I found second, in the middle of a strategy meeting with some of the other fighters in town. He saw me and immediately stood up. He apologized to the men and came out to me.

“Come on,” he said, walking straight passed me and into the street. “I know where Kane is. Probably.” I nodded and followed him. Kane was there, and we made our back to the gas station. We heard shouting, and the sound of the car starting, and bolted forward. Tristan shouted in relief when he saw us, and Kane threw back someone who was trying to get at the car. Tristan moved to the back with Emir and I, and Kane drove out of town, none of us looking back. 

We drove in silence for awhile before Tristan murmured an awkward, “Sorry.” 

“It wasn’t your fault,” I snapped, and instantly regretted the tone. I continued, more gently, “You didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t apologize. It was all them. Those superstitious assholes.” We fell silent after that, and a few hours later, I spoke again. “Tristan, do you know anything about the demons?” 

“No more than you guys,” he answered sharply, staring straight out the window. I felt he was lying, but I didn’t push the subject. Instead I let the car lapse into silence again. 

It took us three days to reach another town. They were having the same problem as the last, and we proposed the same solution. After helping them the first night, we offered to stay with the stipulation that no one try to harm any of us. If they did, we would leave immediately. The deal was struck and we found ourselves shaping another town around our group. Shirin quickly established themselves as a peacekeeper and organizer. Emir took count of the people, weapons, and food. Kane got buddy buddy with some of the stronger men. Tristan stayed in the background, trying not to attract attention. And me? I integrated myself with the town women.


	4. Emir

Things picked up steadily in Torrence, our new town. We made quick progress of making ourselves important to the town’s safety measures. I was tired, cranky, and missing Tristan. He was never around anymore. He lurked at the house we had been allowed to inhabit, only leaving if absolutely necessary. I understood his anxiety in this new town. Lykgringe had tried to kill him after all, but he even seemed to distance himself from us - from me - and that made me even more upset. I didn’t want him to retreat; he was already frustratingly confusing. Maybe that was because he himself was confused, but I had made my feelings clear to him months ago, and he still had yet to give me a straight answer. Running a hand through my hair, I sighed. 

“Emir?” A voice called me from across the room. I looked up and saw Shirin giving me a pointed look. “Have you been listening?” 

I rolled my eyes. “Honestly, no. It’s just the same thing over and over. When can we call it a night?” 

They sighed and waved at someone, indicating that they should pack up the room. “Fine, we’ll meet tomorrow then. Same time. We have to get this done at some point though, Emir, so you may as well pay attention next time.” I shrugged non-committedly. I’d had trouble concentrating on anything the past few weeks. It wasn’t likely to change just on Shirin’s say so. Standing up, I left the room and headed straight for home, hoping to catch a few minutes alone with Tristan. 

When I arrived, Val and Kane were sitting at the table, playing cards. Again. “Where’s Tristan?” I asked, not bothering to hide the disdain in my voice. Val barely glanced at me before pointing me towards one of the bedrooms. Of course. I walked quickly to the room, opened the door slowly and peeked in. He sat, as had become habit, on the bed, simply staring at the wall. I moved to his side and sat next to him. “What are you doing?” I asked quietly. 

He twitched in surprise, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge my presence for a few moment. “I’m… pretending,” he answered. 

“What are you pretending?” I asked, humorlessly. 

“Pretending that I don’t exist. That none of this is real. That you and Shirin and Val and Kane are all safe. That nothing ever change.” 

“That doesn’t seem helpful,” I said after pausing a moment. “Wouldn’t it be better to think of the future and what we can do to get there?” 

He shook his head. “I can’t do that,” he whispered, suddenly sounding far more vulnerable. 

“Why not?” I asked, leaning closer to him. 

He finally turned his gaze to me and smiled sadly before speaking. “Because nothing will get better as long as I exist.” I frowned, wanting to argue, but knowing that it would do no good. I let silence fill the room instead and leaned against him, my head on his shoulder. 

“Then I don’t want things to get better,” I said after a long silence. He didn’t respond, and Shirin was soon calling us for dinner. I took his hand, pulling him from the bed, and he followed behind me without resistance as I guided us to the kitchen. We ate, but no one talked. It was an uneasy silence, each of us waiting for something to happen, something to go wrong. Then, we all retired to our rooms. Tristan still didn’t say anything to me, and I went to sleep fuming again. 

My sleep was light, disturbed by nightmares - my own and Tristan’s across the room - and very unfruitful. I woke the next morning groggy and tired. Sighing, I stood up and retreated to the small bathroom we all shared to splash some water in my face. Tristan wouldn’t get up for hours even though he was probably awake already. I sighed again and walked from the room. Breakfast was more casual than dinner, even though Shirin still took it upon themself to make it for all of us. I grabbed some of whatever they’d made - scrambled eggs, sausage and some sort of muffin - and ate slowly, still trying to convince my body that I wasn’t going back to bed. I had to participate in more of the talks that day. They would probably take up the whole day too. No one in this town could agree on anything. Most of them didn’t trust a sixteen year old to be able to objectively create tactics to keep everyone safe. Most of them were probably right. I favored Kane, Val, Shirin and Tristan over everyone else. They were more important to me, and nothing would change that. 

As I bemoaned the bleak look of the day, Tristan walked in. I stopped mid-bite to stare at him. He hadn’t come in when someone else was eating breakfast for weeks. He looked over at me, gave a small nod and a quiet “Morning,” before grabbing some food himself and sitting down next to me. I recovered, finishing my bite. I returned his greeting, still looking at him quizzically, but he didn’t give any indication as to why he was behaving differently that day. I breathed deeply and finished my food. Before slipping on my shoes, I went to the kitchen to wash my dishes. 

“I’ll do that,” Tristan said, having followed me. “You have to get to the strategy meetings, right?” He hesitated for a moment before leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek. Stunned, I put a hand to the cheek and stared at him open mouthed. He blushed and turned to the dishes. “Go. Make sure as many people survive these fights as possible.” 

“Are you going to be fighting again?” I asked, recovering from the shock, but not retrieving my hand. He paused in his scrubbing of a plate and considered my question. 

“I - I’m not sure. Maybe eventually. I’m not sure if my presence would complicate things though… or if I’m just a burden.” His hands started moving again, but he didn’t turn towards me. I gently took hold of his shoulder and pulled until he turned his face to look at me. Tears were welling in his eyes, and his glasses were fogging up. He appeared frustrated - with himself probably. 

Leaning forward, I gently placed my lips on his. It was only for a moment and he looked as shocked as I had felt when he’d kissed me. Pulling away, I said, “You are never a burden.” I turned around and headed for the door, slipping into my forgotten shoes on the way. As I opened the door, I paused and called out to Tristan before leaving. He peeked around the wall separating the front room and kitchen. “Let me know when you’re considering going back out in the field. I won’t let you get hurt again. I swear.” Then I left the house, knowing he was likely blushing just as deeply as I was at that moment. Something important had happened with Tristan that morning, and I wasn’t sure what had caused it, but I wasn’t going to let it change back. I wouldn’t let go. 

The day was as dreary and long as I had feared it would be, but I powered through it, determined to make it back home and talk with Tristan - or at least be with him. Something inside of me feared that we didn’t have much time even knowing that the demons didn’t target us. I couldn’t help but feel that this change in Tristan was going to lead to a change in everything that we’d established in the month we’d been in Torrence. 

I got home, and the first thing that I noticed was that Tristan did not appear to be there. Running a hand through my hair, I fretted. I checked every room twice before going back to the front door to look around outside. I opened the door and there he was, hand outstretched as if he’d been about to open it himself. Seeing me, he grinned. “You’re back early. Sorry, I went for a walk.” He walked passed me into the house and I closed the door before following him to our room, both of us shedding our shoes along the way. “How’d it go?” He asked, sitting on the same bed as yesterday. 

I slid in next to him and shrugged. “We got more done than we did yesterday, but there’s still so little knowledge about the demons that no matter how much we talk over and yell at each other, we won’t be able to formulate a strategy to defeat all of them until we know more. We need to know what drives them, the extent of their power, where they come from, and those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. ” Tristan sat silent through this, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. He seemed nervous. Grabbing his hands, I gave him a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry though. We’ll figure it out. It’ll just take more time than most of them want it too.” He didn’t respond, so I squeezed his hands once more before dropping them and leaning away. “So where did you take your walk today?” I asked.

Tristan seemed far more able to talk about his day than anything else, so I let him tell me about his exploration of the town and delighted in the fact that he seemed a bit happier than just a moment before. He had never liked talking about the demons. Even when it was necessary, he would grow quiet during those discussions. Not that I blamed him, being reminded of the current state of the country was not always pleasant, but it was a part of our reality now. He grew silent only when we heard the door open and Shirin call out “Anyone home?” 

“Tristan and I are in our room,” I called back, slipping off the bed and walking to the doorway. 

“Can you come help me with some stuff?” Shirin called back, and I beckoned for Tristan to come as well. He followed me out of the room and we took some bags from Shirin and carried them to the kitchen. “People are way more willing to share with us now that we’ve actually been helpful,” they said by way of explanation of all the new food that they had brought back. We helped them put it all away and start prep for dinner. Kane and Val arrived just before the food was ready, and we all ate together again. 

“We have a hunt today,” Kane commented after he was done, eyes flicking to Tristan. “Are you coming?” Tristan hesitated for a moment before nodding. Kane and Val gave twin sounds of approval, and I turned to Tristan. 

“Are you sure?” I asked quietly, worrying that he was just feeling pressured into returning to the field before he was ready. “You don’t have to.” 

“Yeah, I do,” he said, setting his fork down and staring at his plate. “I can’t keep making you guys do all the work. I need to be useful as well.” 

“But if you go out before you’re prepared to face them again, it’s going to be harder to keep you safe,” I countered, frowning at his argument. “I won’t let you be hurt again.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Tristan said with a smile that more resembled a grimace. “You don’t need to worry about me so much, Emir.” I sighed and let it drop. I was still worried about him. He was letting words force him back out. I had to make sure he was fine. I would not let him get hurt. Not again. 

We cleaned up after the meal, and all headed out to the meeting point for the hunt. We waited for about fifteen minutes before the group headed out. Tristan and I remained at the back, each clutching a small pistol, to protect ourselves. 

The start of the nights of hunts were always boring. We had to find a gathering place first; we always tended to run into a few demons on their own, for which there was a mad rush of people competing to take them out. It would be hours before we came across a large group of them. At the back of the fight were always a couple tacticians, myself being among them, keeping an eye on people and ensuring that they didn’t stray too far from the group, medics, like Shirin, and the people assigned to protect us in the back; Tristan was part of that group. 

The demons we encountered this time numbered in the high twenties or low thirties. I wasn’t able to get an accurate count before the groups clashed. I yelled out instructions to certain people, doing my best to keep an eye particularly on Kane and Val, but it wasn’t fifteen minutes into the fight before the demons all seemed to stop. At first, the fighters took this as an opportunity to take them out without them resisting. I exchanged a glance with the other tactician and we called for everyone to fall back. Most people listened and formed a clump of people between us and the still demons, but three people persisted in taking out the demons. Then, a chill ran through the air. The people at the front could see their breath, they would later tell me, and a blast of ice erupted from the ground, eliminating all the demons as well as the three people who had stayed to attack them. A large black figure followed the ice out of the ground, and I heard Tristan inhale sharply. The large demon opened its eyes and our fighters began surging back towards the town. I turned to go with them, recognizing the threat, but found that I could not move. I turned my gaze to Tristan, and he appeared just as frozen in place. People pushed passed us to get away from the demon, and the demon simply allowed them too. When the crowd cleared, I could see that it was only the five of us that were frozen. Some people hung behind us to watch what would happen, but they were moving in a way that I found myself incapable of. 

“I am Kirabo, and I have had enough of you destroying my children,” the figure finally spoke, their voice booming in my head. Tristan’s eyes were wide in fear, and I yearned to reach out and grab his hand. “I have a challenge for the five of you. Come to me in a week’s time, fight me, and defeat me. If you do, I shall withdraw my demons from this world, though I myself will remain. If you do not succeed, I will destroy a town or sanctuary. The challenge will continue until you defeat me, or your town is the only one left standing. What say you?” 

I didn’t like it. It sounded like a trap, especially when our earlier observations were taken into account with this so called challenge. How likely were the five of us to be able to defeat a demon? The demon turned its eyes to me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to speak even if I tried. It wanted us to take this challenge. It seemed almost desperate for it, so I wasn’t surprised at the smirk that crossed its face when Kane started shouting obscenities and acceptance of the challenge. 

“Excellent,” Kirabo said, shrinking in size slightly. “I expect it to be only you five. Do not bring anyone else or I will consider it a forfeiture. For now, I will withdraw my demons. Use the next week wisely.” It disappeared, and I felt my muscles relax. 

I stumbled forward slightly and moved my gaze back to Tristan. He had folded in on himself and appeared to be shaking. Frowning, I walked over to him. “Hey,” I said, as gently as I could, placing a hand on his back. He flinched and looked up at me, terror clouding his eyes. “It’s alright. We’re going to make this work. I promise.” I didn’t know how we would win, but I couldn’t just let Tristan be frightened out of his mind 

He shook his head, lowering his eyes to the ground. “That’s not why…” he said. “I - I just…” He seemed torn between telling me something and keeping it hidden inside. I hated that he was still hiding things from us - from me - but I couldn’t say that it came as a surprise. We had all deduced that there was something about Tristan that made the demons not kill him, so for him to know something more about this challenge was not a far step to take. If only he would trust us. 

“Tristan,” I said, grasping his hands and squeezing lightly. “If there’s something you want to say, please don’t hesitate to say it. Nothing you can say will change the way I see you. The way I feel about you. I swear. Please trust me - us.” I corrected the final plea as the others walked up to us. “Please trust us,” I said again. Tristan didn’t comment, his gaze still leveled at the ground, but he didn’t pull his hands away either, which I thought to be a good sign. Though, I still wished he would talk to us. Sighing, I turned to the others, leaving one of my hands holding one of Tristan’s. “We should head back. Let everyone know what happened and start preparing for whatever comes next. I don’t think it’s going to be a straightforward fight.” 

Kane frowned. “Why not? It sounded pretty simply. Fight the demon and defeat it. Then we win and everything goes back to normal.” 

“Normal?” I asked, rolling my eyes. “Did you miss the part where Kirabo said they would remain here? There’s nothing normal about that.” I was getting angry at Kane’s almost willing ignorance. A demon would not play be the same rules as us. Ever. The challenge was not going to be easy, no matter what he thought. Tristan’s grip on my hand tightened, and I calmed myself as I glanced back at him. 

“Misery,” he said, “She feeds off of misery and loneliness.” I furrowed my brow, wondering why he knew that, but I refrained from asking, afraid that he would pull back again. 

“So she’ll probably be trying to make us feel those emotions ourselves?” He nodded and I pulled him along behind him as we finally started the walk home. Val and Kane tuned us out, insistent that physical power alone would suffice. But Tristan, Shirin and I tossed around ideas for an emotional challenge. 

When we arrived at the town, the crowd that had run was waiting for us. Looking around at my comrades - my friends- I waved them away. “We’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. We’re tired. Let us sleep.” I managed to drag Tristan through the crowd and back to the house, hoping the others were behind us. They were, and once we were all inside, I closed the door and locked it on the people still insisting that we tell them immediately what had happened. Why hadn’t they just stayed if they so badly wanted to know? Sighing, my back to the door, I grabbed Tristan’s hand again and returned to our room. 

We retired in silence. I was afraid to ask anything that would cause Tristan to raise his defenses and he seemed afraid to say much of anything at all. We bid each other good night and fell into troubled sleep. 

I woke the next morning with a terrible headache. I groaned as I sat up and glanced over at Tristan’s bed. He was up again, which was surprising after his near retreat back into himself the day before. Putting a hand to my head, I groaned again. Standing up, I made my way to the kitchen to get some water, hoping that would help settle the pain. Tristan and Val sat in the kitchen chatting. Well, Val was chatting and Tristan was listening, as was usual. I nodded in greeting, but went straight to the cupboard to grab a water bottle. I downed it in seconds before sitting next to Tristan and lowering my head to the table. It was a few minutes before I realized that Val had stopped talking and they were both watching me. I looked up with a glare. “What?” I asked carefully. 

Val pursed her lips, but said nothing. Tristan was the one who spoke, surprisingly - thankfully. Val’s voice was grating on a normal day. “Are you alright, Emir?” He asked quietly. 

“Headache,” I answered shortly, lowering my head once more. 

“Do you need me to get Shirin?” Tristan again. I felt him begin rubbing my back, or, at least, I hoped it was him. It would be weird if it was anyone else, but I didn’t want to look up. “Emir? Do you need to go back to sleep?” He paused in his rubbing as he spoke again, and I sighed. 

“I can’t,” I said, “We only have a week. This is the worst time for this. Sorry.” 

“Are you sure it’s a natural headache?” Shirin. They must have come into the dining room at some point or another. “You don’t think it’s something to do with the demon yesterday, do you?” 

“Why would I be the only one affected?” I asked, scowling though no one could see it. I lifted my head again, squinting as the electric lighting caused my headache to pulse even more painfully. Kane was beside Shirin.

“Because it - they - she could tell that you’re the brains, right?” Kane looked to Shirin for confirmation. They nodded, and I took a moment to consider the possibility before agreeing. 

“All the more reason for me to push through it then, isn’t it?” I asked, rubbing my temples. “We can’t let her win without trying at least, right?” 

“But are you going to be okay?” Tristan asked. I looked over at him, took in the worry on his face, and tried to smile. The simple muscle movement sent a jolt of pain through my head, and it turned into a grimace. Tristan reached out, but paused, seeming unsure if I would want the touch. I grabbed his hand, and forced a smile on my face. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ve done it before.” He looked like he was going to argue again, so I turned back to the others and refocused the conversation on our strategies. 

“Well, since we know she feeds on misery, shouldn’t we first determine what makes us the most miserable?” Shirin slid into a chair next to Val, Kane sitting on their other side. 

“But wouldn’t that be different for all of us?” Val asked frowning. “Like for me, sitting around inside is miserable, but Emir likes it.” 

“Maybe that’s the point,” I said, leaning forward. “Maybe we won’t be fighting a challenge together, but each individually. Besides, Tristan also said that she fed off of loneliness, so it would make sense for her to split us up, wouldn’t it?” I felt Tristan tighten his hold on my hand and I glanced over at him. He looked pale, worried. I forced another smile his way, ignoring the glaring pain. “Don’t worry. It won’t be permanent. For some reason, she extended the challenge to the five of us as a team, and she said it would continue. That means, that if we fail, we will stay together.” He nodded, still looking frightfully pale, and I turned back to the others. “She’ll probably do everything in her power to make us feel alone, abandoned, and miserable. We need to figure out how we beat that.” 

No one spoke for a few moments, and I sighed. “Well, we won’t get anywhere just sitting here. We all have activities that help us organize our thoughts. Why don’t we eat, and then reconvene at lunch to see what we’ve come up with?” I was going to take a nap and hope that the headache went away. If it didn’t, well, I’d have to wake up and face the day anyway. The rest of them nodded, and Shirin went to cook breakfast, I got up to help, but Tristan pulled me back down, shaking his head. 

“You stay here. I’ll help.” I could tell he was still worried about the headache, so I smiled and nodded my thanks, settling back into the chair. I leaned my head back down and closed my eyes against the light. 

“You sure this isn’t because you read too much, Emir?” Val asked, her voice just as grating as ever. “I know I get a headache when staring at small text too long.” 

I sighed. “That probably means that you should have glasses, Val,” I said in a bored tone. 

“I had contacts before, but didn’t grab them when I left my demon infested town. Sorry.” She sounded irritated, but then that was a regular occurrence between her and I. I don’t think either of us would be too bummed if the other left. 

I ignored her snarky response and let her sink into a conversation with Kane. When the food was ready, Tristan brought me a plate. I ate quickly before excusing myself back to my room to try to sleep off the headache. 

Sleep did not come. No matter how much I tossed and turned, how tightly I closed my eyes and tried to clear my thoughts, I couldn’t get to sleep, and the headache persisted. After what felt like hours, I groaned and sat up. If I couldn’t sleep, then I may as well brainstorm. Anything to ignore the piercing pain in my head. I stumbled out of the room and found a pad of paper and a writing utensil. I didn’t see anyone anywhere in the house, so I sat down in the dining room, with the light off, and began to write down everything that came to mind for challenges that may involve misery. Everything from the obvious, people dying, to things that would probably make Val snort in derision at me, low grades. The list grew longer as I continued to think of more and more scenarios. Finally, when I reached the end of the back of the page, I stopped writing. Then, I read through it, crossing out anything that was too simplistic or that would be too difficult to make a concrete challenge of. 

Halfway through the back of the page, a hand settled on my shoulder, and I jumped, spinning in my chair. It was Tristan. Of course. “Sorry,” he said, withdrawing his hand and sitting down next to me. “What are you doing?” 

I shook my head and gave him a smile. “It’s fine; I was just surprised is all.” I turned back to the paper in front of me and frowned. “I was just trying to figure out what the challenge will be. I guess for me specifically since everything points to us being separated when we get there.” Tristan shuffled in his chair, and I turned my gaze back to him. He was frowning. 

I gave him an inquisitive look, but didn’t ask, figuring that he would tell me what was bothering him when he wanted to. He sighed. “I still don’t like it. The who separation thing…” 

I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I know. We’ve been together for all of these tough times for almost a year now. Being alone for this… it’s uncomfortable. But… maybe it’s for the best.” He looked at me incredulously, so I continued. “Maybe it’s better if we don’t know each other so well as to know exactly what makes them the most miserable. What if knowing that would make beating the demon even harder? Because… what happens when this is all over? If we banish the demons, we all go home, right? None of us lived in the same place. We could exchange emails or phone numbers, but we’re bound to grow out of each other eventually. None of us really run in the same crowds anyway. I - I don’t want to be too attached…” I already was to Tristan, but the others, I could let go of. I could. I was desperate to convince myself. 

Tristan was still frowning. He turned his gaze to the table in front of us. “Maybe we’re already too attached to everyone. Would that make it better for us to know everyone better?” 

“Maybe,” I responded, “But we’d still have to split up in the end.” I stopped talking, know that I was only make Tristan feel worse about everything, and returned to the list in front of me, running through everything once more, and finishing crossing out the unlikely possibilities. 

When my pen stopped, Tristan spoke, “Can I see it?” He asked the question tentatively, as if afraid of my answer, but he shouldn’t have been. I could never say no to him. I passed the paper over and laid the pen down, stretching my arms out in front of me. 

“I’m not quite done refining it, but I’m trying hard to imagine the worst possibilities. I want to be prepared for whatever she throws at me.” I was rambling, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop myself from spouting off nonsense as Tristan read through the list. 

“Some of these sound like they’d spark fright rather than misery,” He said after flipping the paper over. 

I shrugged. “Don’t you think fear is a type of misery?” I asked. 

“Or misery is a type of fear,” Tristan retorted, setting the paper back in front of me and meeting my gaze. 

“They’re very intertwined,” I conceded, feeling a smile prick at my lips. Tristan’s eyes seemed to drift down my face, settling on my lips, and I felt a shiver run down my back, my headache all but forgotten. I can’t remember who leaned in, maybe we both did, but without another word spoken between us, we were kissing. I couldn’t control my sudden desire to feel him, to taste him, and I found myself moving to his lap to be closer. 

A clearing throat brought us back to reality, and we broke apart to look over, both our faces red. Val looked as us, eyebrow quirked. “I take it your headache is better?” She asked, looking at me. 

I scowled and moved back to my seat. “Not anymore,” I grumbled, feeling the pounding return. I didn’t think much of it. I had just been distracted from the pain. Tristan was always a welcome distraction. “What do you need?” Tristan couldn’t meet her eyes, but I had no qualms. 

“Well, it’s almost lunch time, and I’m on lunch duty.” She strode passed us towards the kitchen, winking at me for a moment. “Though I suppose you two may not be hungry.” I glared at her in answer, and Tristan burned a deeper red before leaping up and mumbling something about helping with the lunch prep. He brushed passed her and into the kitchen, leaving us, regrettably alone. Her amused look instantly turned to one of distrust. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re thinking. Don’t you dare do it.” She turned on her heel and walked away. I was confused for a moment as all I’d been considering before was how to keep kissing Tristan, preferably somewhere where no one would interrupt us. It wouldn’t be for a few days until I began considering what Val had hinted at. A way for Tristan and I to remain together. 

The headache persisted the rest of the day. Shirin and Tristan both liked the way I had begun approaching the problem and proposed that we all make our own lists. Kane agreed because he didn’t really care, and Val agreed to do it in the end, after much pleading from Shirin and Tristan. She was still giving me seething looks as if daring me to do something. 

The lists were made and we shared them, despite my misgivings about doing so. We narrowed down each of our lists to three to five possibilities by the second day. Then I proposed we brainstorm alone how to deal with these problems that were left. We did this the fourth day, cutting back to two solutions per problem by the fifth day. With two days left, we had nothing left that we could prep for, except for mentally preparing ourselves. My headache still persisted, and Tristan and Shirin had both grown worried about it, but me - I was too busy trying to figure out how to not face this challenge. I was near certain what I would be faced with, and though I had presented solutions to the group, I could not prepare myself for Tristan dying. I couldn’t do it. I glanced over at him before bed on the sixth night, wondering if he would agree to run with me, and knowing that he wouldn’t. He would never leave the others behind, and he was too good of a person to abandon the world to Kirabo’s mercy. 

I woke the next morning, the morning of the challenge, and my headache was worse than ever. The pounding made it hard to even hear anything, so I had to strain when I looked over at Tristan and saw he was speaking to me. “- alright?” I shook my head, only once as the movement seemed to make it worse. Moaning, I put a hand to my head and squeezed my eyes shut. In a moment, Tristan was by my side. “Emir? What’s wrong?” He was worried, and usually, his voice was soothing. Today, it made everything worse. 

“Hurts,” I managed to squeeze out. 

“Oh, I’ll get you water and umm.. Shirin.” He ran off and, guiltily, I was glad for the silence. He came back in a few moments with a glass of water, which he set on the bedside table, and Shirin trailed behind him. He stood off to the side, bouncing in place and fiddling with his hands. He was probably worried, but then, so was I. This was the worst day for a debilitating headache like this.

Shirin asked me a few questions, which I answered as best I could, before holding out two rather large pills. “These are medication for migraines,” they said after a moment. “You should take them. They should help if this is at all caused by more natural forces. If you still think this is Kirabo, then I can’t think of what I can do to help you. I’m sorry.” I nodded and grabbed the pills, gesturing for the water. Shirin placed the cup in my hand before I downed the pills and the cup as quickly as possible. Thankfully, someone had remembered to keep the water room temperature rather than getting me cold water. I laid back and closed my eyes again, hoping to block out the world, at least until the medication took care of the pain. I heard footsteps fade from the room and figured that Tristan and Shirin were leaving. 

I don’t know how long I stayed in the room alone, but eventually, I heard whispering nearby. I opened my eyes and knew I must be dreaming. I was not lying in bed; I was standing in a desolate landscape. Buildings around me were toppled, and covered in a fine red dust. As I walked forward, something I hadn’t even noticed that I’d been doing, the dust flew up into the air around me. My headache was gone, but nothing was right. I saw a figure in the distance, and I realized that I was walking - no running - in that direction. I came to a stop, and dropped to my knees panting, when I was close to the figure. Looking up, I sighed. Kirabo. 

“Emir, wasn’t it?” She asked, shifting from the demonic appearance to something far more human, though she was tall, and her eyes glowed an unnatural blue. Her voice was different as well. I could tell why Tristan had informed us of her gender with such conviction. 

“How have you enjoyed getting to know my Tristan?” She asked with what could be described as a sweet smile, and I furrowed my brows. 

“He’s not your anything,” I snapped, standing up and brushing the red dust from my clothes. “He doesn’t belong to anyone.” 

“No?” She asked. “Not even you?” Her grin widened at the blush that must have appeared on my face. “Then I planned that just right. Well, I’m only here to show you where to come for the challenge. You’d better leave soon. Your car won’t work and it will take you at least a day to walk here, well, with a little help. Tardiness is forfeiture.” 

“Where is this?” I asked, not recognizing anything as a familiar. 

“Oh, just ask Tristan where he died,” she said. 

“That doesn’t make any sense.” But it was too late, the whole thing was fading from my sight. 

I sat up in bed and opened my eyes. My headache really and truly gone this time. Ripping the bedsheets from my body, I stood up and rushed from the room. Everyone was gathered in the living area and they all looked up at me in shock when I came barreling in. “We have to go now,” I said. 

“Why? What happened?” Shirin was questioning me, but everyone still stood up and started shoving their feet into shoes and collecting supplies. I saw Kane grab the car keys and shook my head. 

“No, she said that the car won’t get us there,” I said, pacing back and forth. “She also didn’t tell me exactly where we have to go.” 

“Emir, calm down,” Tristan said walking over to me slowly. “You should at least get dressed before we leave.” 

I looked up at him, and, after a moment of hesitation, I asked, “Tristan, where did you die?” 

The color slowly left his face and his gaze fell to the ground. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mumbled, refusing to meet my eyes. 

“Tristan, no one is going to judge you. This is just where Kirabo wants us to meet her. We have to know.” He shook his head and closed his eyes, almost as if he was denying the whole thing. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” A whisper this time. Followed by a shout, “That doesn’t make sense!” Then he ran back to our room. 

I exchanged looks with the others before sighing and running a hand through my hair. “You guys get some water and food together. I’ll go get dressed and see if I can’t get him to talk. Don’t come in.” They nodded and I followed after Tristan. 

He was curled up on his bed covered in blankets when I walked in and sat near the foot of the bed. “Sorry, I asked you in front of everyone else,” I said, placing a hand on his form. He stiffened at my touch, but didn’t respond to me. “I was panicked and didn’t think first. But we really need to know where to meet her. Not meeting her means giving up people to death without even trying to save them, and… I don’t think that’s something that you’re willing to do.” I hated to use guilt against him, but it was the fastest way to get the information out of him. I would make it up to him. 

Silence spanned between us for a few moments before he shifted under the blankets and finally threw them off. He sat up and faced me. I winced at the tear stains on his face and regretted my choice. “I didn’t die,” Tristan said first, mumbling into his arms as he drew his legs to his chest. “I just…” He didn’t seem to want to say anymore, so I forced a smile. 

“You don’t need to explain. Just… do you know the place she’s referring to?” He nodded, so I continued, “Then you need to get us there. We have to make it tomorrow. We may have to walk all night. Are you going to be okay?” He nodded again and rubbed at his eyes with one hand. I reached over and grasped the other, squeezing tightly. “I’m sorry again. I’ll make sure no one else brings it up.” 

He shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I should tell you guys anyway… I just don’t know how to.” 

“Don’t force yourself,” I cautioned, letting go of his hand and standing. “I’m going to help the others prep. Come out when you’re ready, alright?” He nodded again, and I walked to the door. 

“Emir,” he called to me as I opened the door. I turned back and he had a small smile on his face. “Thanks…” I nodded and returned the smile before leaving the room. 

The rest of the morning was spent packing bags that could be easily carried with food and water. Tristan came out after a few hours and helped us finish up. We left the town immediately after, Tristan at the front for the first time in awhile. He had a map in his hands and was explaining to Kane and Shirin where we were going. I was left walking next to Val. We didn’t talk. 

We rested for only a few minutes every couple of hours. The sun fell and we sped up our pace, not knowing when Kirabo would mark us as late. We didn’t take roads as we would have in the car. We took the straightest line to the location as possible. We arrived just as the sun began to rise the next day, and Tristan hesitatingly led us to the top of a bridge. She was waiting for us in her more human form. 

“Ah, I see you made it, my little challengers,” She said. Val, Kane, and Shirin seemed shocked for a moment, and I remembered that I was the only one that had seen her like this, other than Tristan, who had never confirmed his connection with her. He didn’t appear surprised at her form, however, and he leveled a glare at her. She took in each of us before her eyes landed on Tristan and a predatory smirk made its way onto her face. I stepped closer to him and cast my own glare in her direction. Her grin seemed to grow bigger. “Everything seems to be going nicely, then? Shall we begin?” I grabbed Tristan’s hand a moment before she waved a hand in our direction, and a gust of wind engulfed us. I closed my eyes to it and stood as close to Tristan as I could. 

When the wind stopped and I opened my eyes, he was gone. Everyone was gone. I knew then that our prediction had probably been right. Still, I called out to the others. “Tristan? Shirin? Kane? Val?” No one answered, so I walked forward carefully, descending the bridge. As I did, the scene seemed to change. I turned back and saw someone at the top of the bridge, on the outside of the railing. Frowning, I rushed back up to the top just as they let go. I reached out to grab them, but they fell faster than I could move, but I realized in the last moment that it was Tristan. A loud splash sparked movement in me again, and I rushed down the stairs and along the river, calling him over and over again and trying to reach the body I could still see. 

I finally fished the figure out of the river, but he was gone. No breath, blue lips, cold skin. I knew it didn’t work this fast in reality, but I could still feel the grief welling up in me. Furious with myself, I cast the fake Tristan aside and stood up. “This is not real,” I said to myself and returned to the bridge. The scene replayed once more, and I almost felt myself drawn in again. I managed to stop myself from reacting to the splash, and I crossed the bridge without going after him. The scene changed again, and I found myself back on the bridge with Kirabo. 

“Of course you’re the first to solve it,” she sneered at me. “The logical, unfeeling boy that you are. Did you figure out what happened here?” I refused to engage her and pointedly ignored the inquiry. “Oh, I’m sure you have. Tell me. How do you think he survived?” I continued to ignore her. “Or do you just not care? Is he just a means to an end then, Mr. Mata?” Her voice warped and began to sound like the vice-principal at my elementary school who had once told me to care more about my classmates. Still, I ignored her. 

A few moments later, Val phased back into sight. It was slow and gradual, though I recalled it had felt instant. “Oh, now there’s two of you,” Kirabo quipped, a mock frown beginning to form on her face. “Should I be getting worried?” 

Val looked a little lost, so I walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped, looked at me wide eyed, and sighed in relief. “Oh, it’s really you this time isn’t it?” I nodded and let my hand drop. I wouldn’t ask her what she saw, and I wouldn’t share my experience either. 

Shirin was the next to reappear, holding back tears from the look of it, and Kane followed quickly after, looking angry rather than upset. He marched up to Kirabo and made to grab her. She twisted away, and he glared after her. Val quickly gathered Shirin in her arms. Then we all waited. 

Kirabo laughed after a time, sounding delighted. “Oh, I knew he would get stuck. He’s just full of delicious misery after all. Shall I tell you all a secret as a prize for you coming out?” I elected to ignore her, but saw the others all turn to her and give her attention. “Oh, Emir, you’ll want to pay attention to this as well.” I frowned when she addressed me specifically and, after a moment of hesitation turned to her. “Good, very good. I’ll tell you the secret to destroying me then. That’s a fair trade. You won’t be able to do it now. But if you wish do try. Boy - Kane - take your gun and shoot me. Go ahead. Just like you would my little demons. There’s a dear.” Kane didn’t hesitate to lift the gun and fire straight at her. In the year since we’d all met up, he’d become a very good shot, and the bullet went straight between her eyes. 

“Impressive,” she said, without flinching. Reaching up, she pulled the bullet from her forehead, leaving a hole oozing something black. Running a finger down it, she closed the hole and tossed the bullet back to Kane. “Now you know your normal methods don’t work. Does anyone want to know how to really defeat me?” 

“Of course we do,” Shirin bit out at the demon, glaring more fiercely than I’d thought them capable of. “But how do we know it’s the truth?” 

“Oh don’t worry, I can’t lie. Just ask your little friend when he comes back, or ask me a question you think I would lie about now.” 

“Are we a threat to you?” Kane asked immediately, and she turned to face him again. 

“More of a threat than I expected when I chose you four,” she commented dryly. 

“Us four?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking out loud and she turned her grin on me. 

“Yes, and you were among the most surprising Emir. I knew you would all grow attached to him. I planned it that way, but that you found yourself thinking that you loved him. That was beyond my capabilities. Perhaps you really do love him…” She approached me and grabbed my chin in between her thumb and forefinger, forcing me to my toes in order to look her in the face. “I don’t really know. If you do, all the better for me.” 

“We all love Tristan,” Val spat at Kirabo. 

Without looking in her direction or letting me go, Kirabo waved her retort off. “Not like Emir believes he does. Do you want to know how to get rid of me for good, Emir?” I find myself nodding despite my position, and her grin widens\ed maliciously. Putting her lips right up to my ear, she whispered the answer. “Kill Tristan.” I slapped her hand away and she jumped back laughing. The other three crowded around me. 

“What did she say, Emir?” I refused to answer them, locking gazes with Kirabo. 

“What do you mean by that? Why is that the only way?” 

“Tristan and I are connected now. He made a deal, you four were his gain, and I got to remain in this world. It only makes sense that to get rid of me, he must pay the price, doesn’t it?” The others must have figured out what she had told me as they all grew silent following Kirabo’s words. 

“Never,” I growled. “We’ll find another way.” 

“There is NO other way,” Kirabo laughed. “Though your desperation is delicious.” It was at this time, that Tristan shimmered back into sight, and I ran to him. “Here’s your chance, Emir. All you have to do is kill him, and I will be gone.” 

Tristan’s face slowly paled as he tuned into the conversation. Before he could panic, I wrapped my arms around him and whispered, “Never. Never, never, never.” Tristan stiffened at the words, and I felt my shirt dampen. 

“It’s true though,” he muttered back. “You have to kill me to get rid of her. I told you I should’ve died earlier.” 

“I don’t care,” I spat, tightening my hold on him. “The world can stay this way for all I care. You can’t die.” He didn’t say anything more, just silently cried into my shirt, tightening his own grip on me. 

“Oh, you’re not killing him? I suppose this is my win, then. See you next month.” Kirabo vanished, and all five of us seemed to lose all our strength. Even Tristan and I fell to the ground. I couldn’t see anyone else, but I heard Shirin sobbing, unable to hold back their tears anymore, and Val cursing behind me. I refused to let go of Tristan. 

I don’t know how long we stayed there, but when we all finally gathered what was left of our emotions and stood up, we trudged back towards home. We didn’t speak; none of us seemed to want to talk about what we had learned, and the best way to avoid the conversation was by continuing to walk, so we did, despite our exhaustion. I did not let go of Tristan’s hand the entire time, and he didn’t seem to want me to. We walked more slowly than we had before, and we did take a break at night, though I don’t think any of us slept. The silent trip took us three days. 

We entered the house slowly and we all found a place to sit in the living area. Myself on the floor, grasping Tristan’s hand tightly as he sat on one side of the sofa. Shirin took the other, and Val took the chair across the table. Kane sat first on the arm of the sofa near Shirin, but after a moment, he got up and began pacing. “This doesn’t make any sense,” he finally said, the first reference any of us made to the new information we had gained. I felt Tristan’s hand tighten on mine, and cast my eyes at the ground. “How does any of this work?” After a moment, Tristan’s grip loosened on my hand and he sighed. I looked up at him and he indicated that I should let go of his hand. Reluctantly, I did so. 

He stood up, and everyone’s eyes shifted to him. He breathed deeply and adjusted his glasses before he began. “I tried to kill myself. Before I met you guys. I didn’t have any friends; I was the target for a lot of bullies, and well, I felt like I was more of a burden to my parents than anything else. I just didn’t belong, so I thought the world would be better off without me, and maybe I was using that as an excuse. I had it planned; I would have thrown myself from the bridge when no one was around. Drowning is supposedly really painful, but I knew I would never have the courage to do something more proactive. I was ready though. I was about to go through with it when she showed up for the first time.” Here he paused and looked down at me. I reached my hand up again, and he took it gratefully before looking up at the others and continuing. “She told me that she had had a connection with me for awhile, that she had been feeding off and enhancing my feelings, and that there was an option other than death. I didn’t realize that she would do all of this. She promised me that she wouldn’t hurt anyone; I thought - I thought it was true that she couldn’t lie, but…” 

“Well maybe it is,” I said, taking my hand from his and standing up. I put my hand on his back gently instead of taking his hand again. 

“It couldn’t be,” Val answered almost immediately. “Look at what she’s done. There have been so many deaths.” 

I shrugged. “That was all the demons that she called her children though, right? There’s been no news of her killing anyone, so what if she hasn’t? Because she told Tristan that she wouldn’t.” 

“I mean, it’s possible, but does it change anything?” Tristan asked, casting his eyes to the ground. “It’s still my fault. And the way to beat her is still to kill me. Everything would be better if I didn’t exist.” I glared at him, and turned him to look straight at me. 

“That is untrue. Nothing would be better. She would have just found another victim. You would be dead, none of us would have met, and…” I didn’t say anything more, but Tristan seemed to understand me despite my silence. 

“But does what you want outweigh the good of the world?” He asked, meeting my gaze. There were tears in his eyes, but he seemed resolute. 

I didn’t answer his question; instead, I grabbed his hands and squeezed them both before saying, “I will not let you die.” He pursed his lips, but didn’t respond. We all settled back into silence for awhile before Shirin leapt up and decided to start making dinner. Tristan volunteered to help her, and I let go of his hands when he pulled away to follow her to the kitchen. Kane, Val, and I sat around in the living area, not looking at each other. I could tell the others were trying to consider other options, but if any of them suggested just doing as Kirabo said, I knew I would blow up on them. In order to avoid that, I did my best to avoid any conversation. We ate in silence, and then retired to our rooms. 

The next few weeks were tense, with none of us really lingering to talk to each other. I spent my days in the town’s library reading anything I could about demons and supernatural creatures. There was no access to the Internet in this town anymore, so I had to search manually. Tristan began avoiding me, getting up early and leaving the house to train with Kane, and returning after I was already in bed. I knew why, and I dreaded him trying anything himself. The day came when I found him in the living area staring at Val’s gun. Crossing the room quickly, I snatched it from in front of him and glared. He looked up at me and smiled humorlessly. “Don’t worry. I’m not brave enough to end it myself. Not now that I have all of you,” he said, his voice quiet. 

“You don’t have to die,” I said, kneeling in front of him, and placing my hand that did not hold the gun on his knee. “None of us want you to die. She can’t have just the one weakness. Maybe we can find something else to help us. Maybe someone knows other ways to exercise demons. We just have to keep trying.” 

He shook his head. “I don’t think so, Emir. I’m not so sure it works that way.” 

“But you don’t know,” I insisted, willing him to look up at me. “You don’t know for sure, so it could. Something else could work.” 

“How long will we hold on to hope, though? How many people will suffer because you all let me live? How many people will die? I don’t want to be responsible for that, Emir. I don’t think I can handle it.” 

Laying the gun down on the floor, I wrapped both my arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. “It’s not your fault,” I whispered, desperate for him to believe me. “It’s hers. You are not hurting people. She is. Please don’t give up, Tristan.” I don’t know how long we stayed that way, Tristan sobbing into my shoulder and me barely keeping it together. I hated that he felt so strongly about this. I hated that he had wanted to die. I hated that he thought he should have. I wouldn’t be the same person without him. I didn’t want to exist without him. I couldn’t imagine the world without him. But I couldn’t change his perspective. All I could do was to try my best to solve this problem and not let him die. When he grew silent, I finally spoke again. “Do you want to come with me today? To do research. So long as we have time, we may as well look for another way to get rid of her, right?” He pulled away and nodded, wiping any remaining tears from his eyes. Smiling, I grabbed his glasses, and wiped them down with my shirt, before replacing them on his face. “Then we should have breakfast first. Come on.” I stood up and held out a hand to help him to his feet. 

We ate quickly and left the house before anyone else woke up. We spent the next week and a half skimming books and marking anything that seemed useful. When we were done with every book that seemed to have anything to do with demons, we gathered the ones we’d marked, and those from the weeks I had done this before Tristan joined me, and began reading the marked passages with far more focus. When the time came to face Kirabo once more, I had a plan, and Tristan had tentatively agreed to it. 

Kirabo didn’t appear to be a Christian demon, so what we were going to try was far more broad than other exorcisms. It required salt, a hair from the person seemingly possessed, and memorization of a ton of Latin terms. Also time. We discussed the ceremony with Val and Kane who agreed to try to buy the needed time while I performed the ceremony with Tristan and Shirin’s help. I was determined that this would work. No one else was as confident, but they were willing to try. 

We approached the bridge with anticipation this time, myself at the charge. Kirabo appeared with no preamble. She didn’t send us off to view scenes of misery and torment. She simply appeared and looked at us with a smug smile. “You ready to kill him yet? Because if you aren’t, it’ll be my win again,” she said after appraising each of us. On her words, Val and Kane attacked. She laughed, but didn’t seem suspicious of it, probably putting it down to frustration. Neither drew their guns, simply throwing punches and moving Kirabo away from the area as Tristan, Shirin and I drew diagrams and images in the salt. When this was done, Shirin let out an earsplitting whistle, signaling Kane and Val to guide Kirabo back our way. They did so, and when she saw the salt, her smirk slipped a bit, sparking my confidence to rise. I began to recite the Latin, but to my dismay, Kirabo waved an arm and the salt flew away. 

“Did you really think that would work, little Emir?” She taunted, and I glared at her, having stopped the chant. She stood in front of me and reached out a hand to brush my hair from my face. “Oh you poor little thing. You don’t have to give him up, you know. You could give this world up to me instead. I won’t harm Tristan, and so long as you take care of him, I won’t have you harmed either. You’d be safe, the two of you, and together. Isn’t that all you want?” It wasn’t all I wanted, but it was certainly a good portion. Tristan would never agree to it, but could he grow to be okay with it? Maybe. 

I heard a metallic click from behind me and watched Kirabo’s smirk turn to horror. Turning around, I saw Tristan holding someone’s gun to his head, and I immediately ran towards him. He was too far away; I wouldn’t get there in time. Dimly, I was aware of the others rushing to stop him, but everyone had been scattered, and he was already ready to pull the trigger. My eyes met his and he mouthed a single word at me before pulling it. His body jerked at the impact, and the spark in his eyes immediately went out. I screamed wordlessly but found I couldn’t hear myself. I couldn’t hear anything. I couldn’t feel anything, not my knees meeting the concrete bridge. Not my fingers clawing at my face. Not Shirin trying to turn my head away. I refused to look away. This was my fault. Mine. I couldn’t convince him that there was another way. 

I wasn’t aware of Kirabo vanishing. Val would tell me about it later, the harsh screech that was ripped from her throat as she was pulled in on herself and the world seeming to shake for a few minutes as, we presumed, the rest of the demons were drawn back to where they had come from. All I could focus on was Tristan. 

Ripping myself from Shirin’s grasp, I crawled to him, and gently cradled his head in my lap. Only then did I notice that I was crying, as the tears splashed onto his face. I had failed him. We had all failed him, and I couldn’t stop the tears. I couldn’t stop anything.


	5. Epilogue

It hurt. It hurts. I can’t tell time anymore. Is it still flowing forward? Am I still alive? No. I died. I am dying. I can’t tell anymore where I am. Everything hurts. I hear Emir from somewhere, calling my name desperately. I want to respond, but I can’t. It hurts. I can’t feel anything but pain. 

Then I don’t feel anything. 

When my awareness creeps back, I am not me anymore. I know this distinctly, but I also know that I am me. I am Tristan, but I’m not. Kirabo grins down at me from a throne of some sort. “Welcome to my army,” she says in a tone that tells me that I am not going to like it. And I don’t. Not until she lets me go back to the surface. Once, years later. I don’t know how many; Time doesn’t seem to flow the same where I am now as it did on Earth. But Emir looks older, not too much older, but certainly aged. Perhaps out of college now. And I’m happy - but also sad - to see a smile on his face as he winds his hand with the person walking next to him. 

They can’t see me, so I follow them. Emir is telling him a story, and the new guy seems amused, but jealous. Emir is telling him about me. In the way he always used to talk about me. With love, awe, and admiration that I never deserved. That I never dared to think was real. Was it real? Is it real?

He comes to the end of the story and the boy - man - with him frowns and stops walking. Emir turns to him, and even I tear my eyes away from Emir to the other man. Brown hair, same as mine, but green eyes. No glasses. Not a replacement than, just similar. “He didn’t die, though, right?” The man asks, almost desperately. “You sound like you’re still in love with him.” 

My eyes drift back to Emir who smiles sadly as he turns to face the other man head on. Leaning in, he says in a voice so quiet I almost can’t hear him, “I will always love him” before kissing the other man gently. 

I cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. Hope you enjoyed the ride. :)

**Author's Note:**

> A note on the tags: Their gender identities and sexualities don't really affect the story. Sorry if you were looking for a story that touched on real life issues in such a way. This is more about them coming together as a group and Tristan finding himself than anything else.


End file.
